Skating On Thin Ice

My next post may be coming to you from a hospital bed. Why? You ask. Well I bought myself a pair of ice skates, and this afternoon I am going to try and ice skate for the first time in about 9 years. I was never very good 9 years ago and then I had my two incidences involving ice, both of which led to hospital visits, stitches and surgeries. So with that track record why am I attempting this? Well, I live in Canada, I have young children and I want to be able to do the whole embracing of winter sports thing with them. I want to be able to skate on the outdoor rinks and sip hot chocolate afterwards to warm up. I don't want to be the parent standing on the side watching and wishing they were finished already so we can go home and be warm. Maybe I will be the parent on the ice wishing we could go home and get warm, but I have to try.

I got a nice pair of skates, they are the more comfortable recreation skates, along with an easy lace up dial that you turn. Anything to make my life a little easier! They are super quick to put on, something I need as the kids are always eager to go once I have them laced up, so if I have to spend 5 minutes lacing my own boots I will be ready to get back in the car before they are done.

Am I scared about doing this? Yes, I am terrified of setting foot on the ice. I am convinced I will land on my ass and embarrass myself in front of my friends, but if I do I will live. At least I hope I will live, I really don't need any more scars, they may be sexy on a guy, but I have my fill and already have to use makeup to cover some up.

I will warn the kids to stay away from me while I attempt this, as anyone near me is fair game to be thrown down under me to soften my landing, they are wearing helmets and can take the knock. Maybe I need to look for a really well padded hat? Maybe I just need to look for sanity!  Regardless if you don't hear from me for a while send flowers to the local hospital.

The dog ate my homework

No really, she did! Twice!  I guess that's what you get for doing homework out of something edible, although with our dog it would not even have to be edible!

Diggle had his 100 day project done. He made a picture of a boy fishing, with fish etc, using 100 goldfish crackers. We glued them onto a piece of cardboard and left it to dry on the table. Monster dog jumped up onto the table and ate half the crackers. We redid the picture, moved it so that monster could not get to it and left it to dry. It dried, was looking great and Princess decided to move it, the next morning monster ate the boy and the sun. We redid it again and this time warned anyone who moved it would be in deep trouble.  Diggle got to take it to school this time and do his presentation then guess what?  The class promptly tucked in and ripped all the crackers off and ate them....good thing I used non toxic glue!  It's also a good thing I had the insight to buy two bags of crackers!

She is still stealing mitts, and the odd toy, but she has not destroyed the last few, she runs around with them in her mouth whining till I take them away, I think she knows she should not have it, and is conflicted about whether she should rip it apart or hide the evidence quickly.

I have found she is trainable, I now have her trained that when I am about to go out somewhere I say in your box and point, and she runs into her crate and lies down. Her being happy to be crated while I am out is wonderful, as I no longer have to worry that she is howling and disturbing the neighbours, and no longer have to worry and wonder what part of my house or possessions will be destroyed by the time I get home.

Now if I could get her to stop climbing on the tables and taking food out of the kids hands we may be getting somewhere.

Despite all that the monster dog has eaten she seems to have wormed her way into our hearts. Even DH who was in favour of sending her to the pound for the 1st 8 months of her life with us seems to have come around. I heard him telling her he loved her the other night while cuddling her in front of the fireplace. Of course this was after an awful lot of red wine, and about 10 minutes later he was snoring on the floor, so I am sure he will deny it verhimintly if questioned, either that or he was talking to his glass of red wine!

Valentines Day

Maybe I am just bitter and jaded?  But seriously is it not just a bunch of over hyped bullshit?  A special day to tell everyone in our lives how much we love them?  I could even get behind maybe just telling your spouse (ha, that sounds like I want to tell your spouse not mine - somedays that's probably true) that you love them, but why do we need to treat our kids? I tell them I love them every day, I don't need to give them a card or make them a special breakfast just because its valentines day.  Was it not enough that I helped the kids put together cards for all their class so that they were not the social outcasts?  I fed them breakfast, not a special one, just cereal, I kissed them when I dropped them off at school and told them to have a good day.

I don't want candy or flowers, or even a card, does that make me strange?  Why spend money on a card or overpriced flowers just because today is the day you are "supposed" to?  I would far rather get flowers as a surprise on another day of the year, just because DH thought "hey lets get the old hag something so she will put out tonight."  It would mean so much more.

I remember being a teenager, hoping for the valentines cards, that was about the only time I enjoyed it, but even then it was not like I got a whole slew of cards.  Then I met DH, I think I got a card for the 1st few years and we did go out to dinner.

My main problem is DH's birthday is tomorrow, the day after valentines day, and I would rather go out and make his birthday special than on some over popularized holiday crap.  And I am not going out two nights in a row, so ultimately we don't end up doing much.

I am feeling frustrated like I want to punch someone, my heart is racing, maybe its all the love out there,  maybe I have eaten too many of those heart shaped chocolates....well they were on sale.
Anyway its nearly dinner time, DH just phoned to say lets at least cook something nice for dinner tonight, bah humbug! I told him to stop at the store on the way home then and buy something.  The kids are getting pasta, and I'll probably put out tonight anyway even without flowers and a card.

Random things you never expected to say.

• What are you eating? No, I don't have any raisins, and have not had any in the house for months, spit it out.....for the love of God spit it put right now!

• No we cannot use your toothpaste after it has fallen in the toilet.

Image By: Monique Jansen

• Just bite him back then 

• No they did not have to cut you out of Mommys tummy.  How did you get out then?  Erm, yes they cut you out.

• No that bath toy is not supposed to fit on your penis, take it off now.

• The tooth fairy must have been really busy last night, I bet if you go and check after breakfast you will find she was just running late.

• Do not drink the bath water!  Do not pretend you are a fountain and put the bath water in your mouth.

• No sweetheart, no matter how great you think it will be to be older and have floppy boobs just like  mom, you really don't want that trust me.

• I don't  care if you are playing puppy dogs, tying a leash around your brothers neck is not happening.

• No Daddys hair really did not fall off his head and land lower down.

• Just ignore your father.

• What did I just step in?

• I don't care, you still have to wear underpants!

Laziness

Image by Kemy

It's a wonderful thing!  

Yesterday for a change I decided to take a day for myself and I relished in it.  The day started out with all good intentions of at least getting a run in before I wallowed in my laziness, but in reality it got as far as me putting on my running clothes.  Well that has to count for something?  I at least looked active while being lazy.  

I have not had a day to myself with nothing pressing to do in forever, in fact yesterday was not one of those days either, however I chose to completely ignore all the things that needed doing, all the mess that lay around, all the paperwork that is on my desk, even a blog post that needed to get done, and pretend that I had nothing better to do than me stuff.

I put a whole bunch of new music on my iPod, I was still intending to run at this stage, so told myself that this was in preparation for this.  Then I listened to some of the music.  After that I decided to watch some tv that I had recorded as I did not feel like running yet.  In fact I had a food hangover from too much sushi the night before, which really made me not feel like doing much, so we will go with that being to blame for everything.

After watching my tv, I had some lunch and, wait for it, the highlight of my day, I curled up on the couch with the monster dog and took a nap!  It was not a long nap, thanks to a bizarre dream about being being in an out of control car (again, going to blame the sushi!), that had me waking up dizzy, and after that I decided if I wanted to be awake to go get the kids from school I had better get off the couch. 

I managed to shuck off my running leggings and throw on a pair of jeans to go get the kids.  I still had on my running/workout top when the evening rolled around, and I have to give DH credit,  when he walked in the door, he never even asked why I was wearing jeans with my running top.  Even more important he never asked if I actually ran or did anything that day.

Peace and quiet

On the weekend I started typing up a blog post complaining about how I was once again sick, how Diggle has been sick for the last week, and how miserable we all are.  Then I went back and read it and realized that it was just a whiney blurb on how my life sucks, and really who wants to read that? 

Being stuck in bed on Friday made me realize a few things.  I need more pajamas, my bedroom seriously needs an update with a coat of paint and some organization skills, and the iPad is the best invention ever!

Its now finally Monday and I am currently savoring a few minutes of peace and quiet, the first few I have had alone in the house in 11 days!  Diggle was sick for 7 days, followed right after by a 3 day weekend for the kids, my brain has short circuited.  By this weekend the kids were annoying me, annoying each other and generally trying to be annoying beasts who annoy everyone.  There was wailing, screaming, yelling, hair pulling and tears in the house (and that was just from me!).

On Saturday night they decided they wanted the adventure of sleeping in basement.  After much begging and pleading we agreed to let them try it out.  I figured they would be scared down there by themselves, but hey it was Saturday night, so if they lost a bit of sleep and had to move up to their bedroom eventually no harm.  Well first there was arguing over how dark it should be, Princess wanted a light on on the other side of the basement, Diggle wanted it dark, then the monster dog went down there and stole their cuddlies to try and eat them, then she was licking the kids (probably wanted to eat them too).   Well eventually they all ended up back in bedroom as predicted and we got some sleep.

No, Mommy is not telling you
where she put the last roll
of toilet paper!
Image by: Roadsidepictures

This morning I got the kids off to school, had enough time to run home and phone my Mother to check on how the family on the other side of the world is, and then run back to meet the kids class for their skating trip.  After skating it was a quick run to the grocery store (it does not help if you have three bathrooms if only one of them has toilet paper).  Finally I am home and have an hour before going to get the kids from school, what should I do with that hour?  Nap?  Clean?  Watch TV?  Nope, I figured even if I don't have much to say now was a good time to try and get a blog post up.

Things not to type in a blog

I typed up a blog post the other day, but got sidetracked before posting it.  In hindsite I think this was a good thing.  Ok, It was not as much sidetracked as an "oh shit how did it get that late, the kids are going to be out of school and I am not going to make it there in time to get them" moment.  Anyway when I got back I decided not to post it.  I came to the realization that there are some things you probably should not blog about when people who know you (or people who you are bitching about) may happen to read the blog.

• Issues with friends (unless they are really close friends who can take it)
• Drama or feelings on your work or your significant others workplace, bosses or co-workers even if they are idiots. 
• Bitching about irritating things your extended family does (this of course excludes DH, obviously I can bitch all I want about him, what 's he going do about it?)
• The fact that anyone, be it a friend or family member is taking a "sickie day" from work or doing something illegal or immoral, no matter how entertaining  or funny it is.
• Thoughts on culture, race, religion and politics.  Lets face it no matter how much of a bigot or how liberal you are not all your readers (or even all your friends) are going to think the same way.
• Anything after a couple of glasses of wine or any other form of alcohol or drug.  This one should be self explanatory! Think drunk texting or drunk dialing. Boy am I glad we did not have cell phones around when I was a teenager. 
• Anything that is going to make someone who you know pissed at you, unless you have too many friends and want to whittle down the list a little.

OMG! Did you really just type that?
Image by: aquababe

Now I dont know if I can stick to the last two, after all I have some of my best thoughts after wine!  Maybe I can stick to not publishing the post until I have had time to re read it the next morning.
Also I am pretty certain there are people who are already pissed at me for my blog just because I am uncensored and candid in it, and have probably already offended their delicate sensibilities in that, but oh well, if they cant take me then by all means please dont read it.
Of course I still have the blog post I typed up the other day saved, so lets hope I don't post it one night after a few glasses of wine!