Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Tipping point

Every situation that you are not happy with has a tipping point. That point where you are no longer content to sit back and let things continue. Human beings (at least the ones I know) don't like change so we'd rather put up with a bad situation than face change, that is, until we reach that critical tipping point.

Whether it is a relationship, a work situation, a living situation or something as simple as body image and needing to workout and diet.

We sit, we procrastinate, we find reasons, excuses even, not to change. Until that day where we can't take it anymore, we say enough and we usually take that first big step in the right direction. 

The thing with change is you have to really want it for it to succeed. It can't just be a thought of oh I'd like to lose weight, or I'd like a new job, it's got to be a deep driven desire for something better, you have to want it, really want it. You have to want it more than all those excuses you've been using in your head for the past few months or even years.

The reason you have to want it so bad? It usually requires some sort of sacrifice. You have to give up something in order to gain something. It's tough to give up things, especially things that bring you pleasure, no matter how fleeting that pleasure might be. If it's weight loss you're after, you have to give up a whole lot of food and drink, especially at parties. If it's a new job, perhaps you have to give up security or an easy commute, if it's a relationship then you may have to give up a lifestyle or time with kids or a whole lot more.

An easy example for me to fall back on was our decision to move countries. We didn't want to change for the longest time. We had a good life, a privileged life, the lifestyle was great, the weather fantastic and all our friends and family were there. We knew we should leave, we knew that the country was not one we wanted to raise our as yet unborn kids in, due to the culture of crime and violence and we knew that with the economy heading downhill travel from the country was only only going to get harder and more costly. But did that push us to make our decision? No, we dallied, we found excuses, friends got held at gunpoint and we found reasons why they were the victim, things like, oh they shouldn't have been driving in that area, or why were they traveling alone? Friends, family and us were robbed, attacked and we shrugged it off with an, oh lucky they survived, or lucky we weren't home, material things can be replaced. We still needed that one thing, that tipping point to push us to move.  It came one day in a bizarre way, nothing dramatic. I was sitting in the car while DH ran into an office in a pretty decent part of town and I started to fear for my life watching people walking past the car. I was literally waiting for someone to rip the door open and pull me out to take the car. Pretty odd for a girl who used to drive her little mini through the worst area of town with the doors locked and windows up merely because it was the shortest distance to college. DH got back to the car that day and I said, I can't do this any more, it's time to leave. We submitted our paperwork for Canada the following week. We sacrificed a lot to make that move. Leaving family and friends to make the move was definitely the biggest and most heart breaking sacrifice, but we wanted that better future for our kids and us more than we wanted to stay.

The point to this blog post? I'm in need of re finding my weight loss tipping point that occurred the year I turned 40, the year I managed to lose 30 lbs, other than that I don't really have a point, I'm just writing down rambling thoughts in my brain as they spew forth.  If you've been reading my blog for a while I thought you would've all realized that by now. I will say, if you need to change something in your life and you've reached that tipping point, concentrate on that motivation and keep it clear in your head so that you follow through with the change, it's oh so easy to slip back into the status quo and start making excuses again.

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

When I grow up

I wrote this last year while my mom was staying with me and never published it. I'm not sure why, I guess my mom must have distracted me somehow and I lost focus. I figured it still stands, why not share it with you now.

I started the day off by getting a lecture from my mom. I feel 16 again and that's not a good thing.  She thinks I'm wasting my life, She may not be wrong in that department. She gave me the "you have so much talent and you sit here reading other people's stories and doing other people's work" lecture.  It started after she read my when-home-is-no-longer-where-you-think  blog post and it made her cry.  She is not computer literate (thank god or I can only imagine the other lectures I'd endure) so she asked me to print it for her and I did.
Now she wants me write more, find a way to make money writing somehow.  The thing is I know and am friends with lots of fantastic writers, so I compare myself to them and know there is no way, but try telling that to good old mom. 

Growing up, writing was never something I considered as a career. I wanted to be an artist, a dress designer, work in advertising or even work in media somehow, but writing, it never crossed my mind. My teachers at school were never impressed with my writing abilities, (not that I was trying very hard), and no one ever told me it was something I should consider.

I enjoy writing, I enjoy blogging, but I battle for inspiration and ideas. While I can blog and write down here how screwed up my family is and what a bad parent I am, that's not going to make me any money. I'm not trained in any form of writing as I'm sure you can see. I just put down my thoughts on the paper (well on my iPad) as they pop into my head.  I've written a few articles for my anti shark finning website, but I was never overly happy with them. I can pick and choose my blog posts that I am proud to have written, scattered in among the ones I wrote because I felt I needed to get something out there.  So how does one go about making money from writing?  Mom wants me to write a best seller, a fiction story of some kind, I have dabbled in short fiction, all of it way too erotic to show my mom, but I know I'm no where near good enough to write a long one.  I guess half my problem is I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  I just keep hoping something will fall in my lap that will make me happy and I can get paid doing it..I could be waiting for a while yet since I have no intention of growing up until I have to retire.