Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Christmas time.....joy to the world and all that shit

I fear I may be turning into Howard Langston.  He's the guy Arnold Schwarzenegger played in that Christmas movie - Jingle all the way....you know the guy who was trying to get his kid the hottest toy and they were all sold out.

Diggle wanted the slushi maker, apparently its available everywhere else in the country, but anywhere near me is sold out.  I read the reviews and people are not overly impressed with it...its a toy, it requires a lot of assembly and manual working etc, so I convinced Diggle that Santa was battling with the demand on this one and since he knows how clever Diggle is he wondered if he would mind having a snow cone maker....its electric, the same price as the toys and you can sort of make slushi drinks with it too  it says.

So Diggle is happy with this idea, I go to get the snow cone maker from the home store...and I guess all the other Moms had the same idea.  They only have the two demo models left, I am welcome to buy them, but no box, no instructions and no accessories.  Well no thank you, I was not overly enthused with that idea.   I came home and searched the stores and even have toyed with the idea of buying Diggle a Margarita maker, its essentially the same thing and the bonus is we can set up a margarita stand on the sidewalk in summer for the Moms! I guarantee it will make more money than a lemonade stand!  But the problem with this is they are expensive....much much more than the damn snow cone machine, oh and is it an inappropriate gift for a 7 year old?  I can just imagine the conversation with the teacher in January, Santa gave you what??

I got him something that is not exactly what either of us had in mind but it was all there was left and it was on sale...on the way  out the store another Mom grabbed me and said "where did you get that??" with that look of desperation in her eyes....I had to tell her there was only one left and she started running through the store.

I hate shopping, the people are all crazy in the shops at the moment, and I despise crowds.  I think I am nearly done, and thankfully the hi-light of my Christmas shopping will be a conversation between a cashier and a blind man I overheard today while I was standing in line at the checkout.
~~~~
Cashier: Will you be needing a gift receipt with this electric meat slicer sir?

Blind Man:  No thank you it's for myself.

Cashier:  (the look on her face had me in giggles) oh!....... (a long pause).......um

Blind Man: oh its ok, I cut all my own meat and pour my own drinks

~~~~

Blind man  + what is essentially a circular saw for food....yeah I can see this ending well.

Now next week its baking week....







Thursday, 6 December 2012

Worlds best egg nog

I have friends who email me every year asking for my egg nog recipe.  I'll admit to it being one of the best ever recipes, but it would be nice if these friends would email me other times of the year too ;)

Anyway this year I have decided to share, and preempt the requests by posting it on here.  At the very least I'll see who of these friends actually read my blog.

Now I would first like to give a warning, do not under any circumstance drink this if you have a Doctors appointment for bloodwork in the next month.  This is not cholesterol friendly at all.

6 large eggs (separated)
250ml White rum (I like something with a slight coconut flavour)
250ml fresh cream
187ml sugar
1Lt Milk
125ml Brandy

Beat the egg yolks and sugar, beat in run and milk.   Fold in stiffly beaten egg whites then add cream and brandy gently and stir.  Top with shredded chocolate or nutmeg (depending on your taste buds).  You can make it stronger, although it already has quite a kick to it, so I would suggest adding more to your own glass at the end.

We leave a glass out for Santa every Christmas eve and he seems to appreciate the kick, I think it helps him finish off this half of the world.  Remember he's been on the go for a long time by the time he gets to Canada!
I think he may even give some to the reindeer.

This egg nog is so good that when I used to make it my old dog would cry and beg to lick any drops she could.  (I know, don't give human stuff to a dog right? before my vegan animal friendly friends feel the need to tell me)  It can't have hurt her too bad though cause she lived to 16.  And no before anyone suggests it, Monster Dog is not allowed anything that may make her do something crazier than she already does!


Friday, 16 November 2012

Life lessons for my kids




  • There is always a bigger slice.... or a plate with more on it.  Just take the plate I give you and eat, if it takes 5 minutes to decide which plate is bigger you wont notice the extra mouthful.


  • You are still alive - stop complaining


  • If you are playing out in the street with all your friends and are too cold/hot, come inside....do not ask if all 10 friends can come in too....its not going to happen!  Go and ask one of  their Moms  if you can all go inside their house....I bet I know the answer!


  • I am only buying one jar of Nutella, if you raid the cupboard and eat it all do not expect to find another jar in there for a long time.


  • Just because something has a picture of fruit on it does not make it healthy....but yes I will sometimes buy it for you to shut you  up.  If you have asked for it, begged for it, pleaded for it and then decide once I have bought it that you really don't like it, you will eat it anyway.


  • Behind the cushions on the couch is not a garbage bin!  Stop putting your wrappers down there.  - Yes Diggle that means you, you are the only one who sits there apart from Dad, and I am pretty sure his mother did not let him stuff food wrappers down the couch either!


  • You cannot have desert every night, yes, around Halloween you can, but only because I want to get rid of the damn candy as quickly as possible so your dad and I don't eat it all and gain 20lbs
  • The other nights desert is saved for those dinners you are not really that fond of...it's called bribery, get used to it, it's the way the world works!


  • I know when you are stalling at bed time. Like when you have spent all day playing and ignoring me then suddenly after bed time has passed you wish to spend time with me and cuddle? Also asking to have the tv switched on, on your favorite show while said cuddling is taking place does not improve your chances.


  • Blaming the monster dog for things will not always work. For example if one of your mittens are missing and you blame her, there is a pretty good chance I will believe you. Blaming her for the fact that tv magically turned itself on while you were eating dinner, or for the leftovers that mysteriously disappeared from the fridge from a sealed Tupperware....not so much.


  • You are both very competitive, I have no idea where this comes from, none whatsoever, nope, most certainly not me! However there are two of you, you are both good at different things, there are winners and there are L... Non winners, get over it, sometimes you will beat your sibling sometimes they will beat you but all the time I will beat you both. Oh and the only reason I don't let you win at games is to teach you that  you cant win all the time, it has nothing to do with me having to win.


Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Itches



It's THAT time of year, the kids are back in school and yep, the "head lice letter" came home from school a week ago.

 Now,  the past few years it's been the letter and one or two students who you hear about who have it and within a few days it's all gone. Not this year, a week later and more and more students are dropping like lice eggs. 4 kids in the twins class were sent home today, one of whom had a birthday party at her house on Saturday that, oh joy, the twins were at.

I checked princesses hair yesterday, I checked it today, so far nothing, but she says her head itches! Well welcome to the club, my head itches, my face itches, DH's head itches and he has no hair on it! Can anyone say psychosomatic? Hell even the monster dog seems to be itching! Oh that's not a good thought, can dogs catch lice? Guess what I am off to Google....be right back.....

Aaaaand I'm back, phew no apparently lice are species specific, so I won't need to be delousing the dog if the worst happens.
For now though I am going to hope for the best and try not to scratch, and sorry if I made you itch, go on, scratch your head, you know you want to.

Monday, 1 October 2012

Underwear

Why do we wear it?

 Not that I am advocating for us all to suddenly lose it all, although it would make make life interesting. I was asked this question by Diggle.

 You see he hates wearing underwear! He loves to go commando. I leave his clothes out for him in the morning so that when he wakes up he can get dressed for school and meet me downstairs for breakfast.  I know I leave underwear there, and yet somehow they never make it onto him.  I find them discarded, hidden behind the chair in his room. I asked him why, his reply? He says he does not like wearing them, and he does not understand why we should have to wear them. He is wearing pants and the pants go in the wash basket when he takes them off. It's a perfectly logical argument, I agree. However society dictates we wear them. 

Who am I though to stifle my sons creative genius. Ok I admit that may be reaching a little there, but seriously I have never been one to play by the rules, so what do I do? Agree with his logical reasoning, (it's not like anyone knows he is not wearing underwear under his jeans), or lay down the law and do an underwear check before leaving for school in the morning?
Yes, I am going the underwear check route.... Cause while it may be cute that a 7 year old is commando, when he is 16 or 18 it won't be so cute and I don't even want to go there!

Maybe there is time still to train him.






Wednesday, 5 September 2012

I'm Back!!

Wow, I suck at blogging!  Or at least I sucked at it over summer.  This summer seemed a lot busier than the past years.  We did lots of camping trips, the kids were older and more open to reason, (or perhaps took my threats more seriously?) and overall the summer seemed to fly past quickly.

We did a total of 6 camping trips, got to see moose, bears, raccoon (who knew the plural of that is raccoon?  spell check just taught me something - should I be embarrassed?) and even did a fair bit of canoeing and fishing.  I never fed any of my family or the monster dog to the bears and we all made it home  in one piece...pretty successful I think!

I now have (and for the past month have had) 8 people living in my house.  4 adults and 4 children....its crowded and noisy but for the most part has run pretty smoothly.  The twins are loving the extra friends, that are their cousins in the house and although their room looks like a dormitory they are all coping with it quite well.  There are also distinct advantages to having two Moms in the house, if one is not around the other will feed and tend to the kids and even yell and threaten the kids, and who knew, sometimes kids listen to the Aunty Moms threats a little closer than their own Mom.

Anyway the reason I am back now is.......they are back at school, I can think again!  I can even go grocery shopping in peace and today I took a nice long walk with the monster dog and my iPod and did not wonder if the house would still be standing when I got home!

I think fall is my favorite season!  The days are cooler, the nights crisp, the leaves change to pretty colours and the kids are back in school....yes fall is definitely my favorite!

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

How to look unprofessional in 5 minutes

Well I should have known better, but I had been trying to chat with a work colleague for over a week now, and we had some important stuff to hash out, so when she messages me and said can we chat now, I ignored the fact that my niece and nephew were here with my kids and said sure. The first half of the call was fine, then the phone rang (I was on Skype) and it was my SIL, so I asked my colleague to hold on a sec as I needed to know when the kids were getting picked up. While that is happening Diggle gets his fingers slammed in the door. Add much screaming to the calls, my SIL yelled I'll be there ASAP and hung up.



I managed to calm Diggle down a bit and sent all the kids down to find ice for his fingers and tried to resume the call. Now add in the kids yelling up to me that they can't find ice.....sigh...the colleague does not have kids she probably thinks I'm a bad parent for yelling back, tough then you're going to have to wait! We got back to the call....then the phone rang, it's DH, so I hit ignore and sent it to the answering machine. So he leaves a message and straight away calls my cell. At which point I gave up and told my colleague that we were done and I would call back with anything further.

Now as much as I insist to her that this was NOT a normal occurrence at my house and that I can usually be professional when there are only two kids around, she does not have kids, hands up how many people think she really believes that?

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Running in the rain and jiggly bits

I ran my second official 5K today.  Woke up to thunder and lightning and torrential downpours.  And while that was  a nice break from the ridiculous heat we have been having it was not great knowing that I was about to head out for a run.

Fortunately my running buddy did not bail on me, and her showing up ready to run made me go ahead with the plans.  It in fact turned out not bad.  It rained lightly during the run, and got pretty hot and humid towards the end, but I took a full 2 minutes off my last run time, so I was ok with that.  I felt my knee twinge a little at the 4k mark, and was a little concerned since both the physio and Dr have warned me that I can easily blow out my knee as I have never quite corrected all the damage done to my ankle since I had all the pins and screws put in, but it held out. Both my knee and ankle are a little sore at the moment, but nothing they wont recover from with a few days rest.

The downside to the light rain was DH did not take his camera....although I will give kudos to him and the kids for still coming to watch and support us.  I gave them the easy out and told them they could stay at home, but they chose to come and stand there with umbrellas and cheer us on.  Anyway with him not bringing his camera, I only have one picture to prove I ran, it was snapped on DH's cell phone as I am about 10m away from finishing, and although I am smiling, (the kids were hanging over the railing on the side waiting to high 5 me), I look huge...its horribly unflattering....so no pictures will appear online from todays race!

I think I will give running a bit of a rest, like slow down to once a week for a bit and try and squeeze some p90x workouts in to try and firm up some of the jiggly bits.  Jiggly bits??  Yes that's exactly what Princess said to me the other day when I was outside tanning.  In a loud voice she announced "Mommy your belly is jiggly!"  I think I heard the neighbour snigger on the other side of the fence....

I actually did something wild this week, I bought a bikini!  No, don't anyone panic.  I have no intention of wearing it out in public.  I thought that while the kids are splashing in the pool in the backyard I would try and tan my ghostly white stomach for a change....my thinking is that tanned jiggly bits may look better than white jigglys?  Why I worry about that I have not idea, its not like anyone actually sees that except DH, and he knows better than to say anything, especially if he ever wants to get laid again in his lifetime.

Anyway hence the need to perhaps start the p90x, maybe if I can lose another 20lbs and firm up the jiggly bits, one day I may just be able to wear that bikini out in public!


Sunday, 24 June 2012

Ahhh Summer!



3.5 days of school left!! I am feeling a little anxious about the summer.  Its not that my kids are naughty or even require a lot of attention.  Its that they are home and I feel guilty for not giving them the attention.  I feel like I should be taking them places, doing things, entertaining them, playing with them.  My downfall is that I am not one of THOSE moms.  You know the perfect Mom who does all of the above, or at least says they do all of the above and loves to tell everyone what fun they have with their kids everyday.  In retrospect I really should have thought harder about this whole parenthood thing before I committed to it.  I wanted kids, I really did.  Hell I paid enough to get my kids!  Its just sometimes I don't know if I am cut out for this.  However let me say and make this perfectly clear....I love my kids, I would not change it for the world now that I have them, they are the best kids in the world, and I have every faith that they are going to do amazing things with their lives. (As long as Princess never decides to take up dancing!)

I suppose I must be doing something right.  My kids are not brats and most people tell me they love them.  They are polite, they listen, they rarely have meltdowns (I could probably count on one hand the number of times anything like that has happened) and they are very loving and understanding of me when I tell them I am busy working.  So reading this you must all think I am a terrible Mom.  Why would I not want to spend my summer doing fun things with them?  The answer is...I don't know.....I just like my own free time, I'm selfish I know.  To be brutally honest I find it draining to have to do stuff and go places and watch them all the time to ensure they are safe and not in danger.  Even grocery shopping becomes more taxing, and more expensive, I find myself agreeing to buy things just to bribe them and get through the trip quicker, and sometimes out of guilt that I never treat them enough compared to their friends.

Now don't get me wrong, its not like I never do anything with them, we go camping, we do lots of trips over the summer, we canoe, we bike ride, we spend time on the beach and I love it.  BUT I also love it when I can have some quiet time, some time to myself when I don't have to worry about who is doing what, who needs lunch, who is outside playing in the street, and where is the other one, and then with the constant opening and closing of the front door...has anyone let the monster dog out into the street, cause if so we are all in trouble.

Regardless I am going to try this summer to be a better parent.  To take them to the splash pad, to let them have friends over for play dates, and if it means I have to work more in the evenings and have less time to read and relax then so be it.  I will try and look at the positives, no more rushing in the morning to get everyone breakfast and get lunches made. Peanut butter is again an allowed food selection for lunch and of course no more last minute trying to get homework done 5 minutes before walking out the door in the morning!    Of course....that does not mean that I will not be happy when that first week school in September gets here!


And yes I am aware the above paragraph is hi-lighted in white...I have no idea why, and I don't feel like deleting it and retyping it!




Thursday, 21 June 2012

random musings

Firstly let me apologize for the lack of posts.  In fact I have had so little time lately I have not even been reading the blogs I follow, and have a good 27 or so posts to catch up on.  I started a new job, well sort of new.  Its a volunteer position that I had been doing since March, but have ended up being promoted? taking on a whole bunch more responsibility.  Sadly I have come to realize that when I am doing a job I enjoy, I am a little bit of a work-a-holic.  Hence the lack of blog posts.

I have no real topic to write about today, so will give you some random musings.

  • I have the strangest dog.  Her taste buds extend past shoes, plastic and dolls. She goes frantic over bananas and watermelon too!  
  • I have finally lost it with being woken at the crack of dawn by giggling and loud talking.  (always by the Princess - but they both get the blame as she would not be awake if Diggle did not wake her up!)  Therefore from today they lose out on treats everyday I get woken before my alarm clock. - They were not impressed when told this 1st thing morning.  Lets hope for my sanity and beauty sleep that it works!
  • I think I have lost my mind cause I signed up to run another 5K, this time in two weeks, middle of summer, and I don't do well in the heat!  I am praying for a cold front to sweep through on this weekend!
  • I am  feeling old!  All the people I work with are younger than me.  I guess its a good thing I won the weekly draw from a fancy skin care place this week...maybe they have a miracle anti-aging cream that can take 10 years off me.
  • The kids have a future in crime.  Well cyber crime.  I heard them discussing in great detail how to hack into the school system to see the teachers network???  They are 7!! What?
  • 4.5 school days left till summer break!  2 whole months, 9 weeks of the kids at home!  I don't need to say more on this topic do I?  You may be getting more blog posts out of me, either that or I will be locked away in a padded cell before long.

  • 7 weeks till my household jumps from 4 to 8.  Yes we are getting another two kids and two adults.  Should be fun?  My brother is immigrating, so his family and him need a place to stay till they have jobs and find themselves a house.  Padded cell anyone?  - It's looking more and more inviting.....no I jest (or do I?) I love my brother and have not seen him in about 6 years so I can't wait to have them living close. I may have to give them names for the blog though! 

Monday, 11 June 2012

More gems that come out of my childrens mouths


Just some pearls of wisdom or not that have sprouted from my kids recently...

"Mom, you really should ask us what we want for breakfast before just giving us stuff."   - To which I replied..." Princess, you really should eat what I give you and be thankful I am giving you breakfast and not sending you off to school hungry."
 Her reply..."oh!"  -  She ate her breakfast.

Overheard between the two of them...
Princess "How many speeding tickets can you get before the police arrest you?"
Diggle "I think two"
Princess "Moms gonna get arrested then!"



Diggle put his half finished dinner plate on the counter.....
Me "I thought you were hungry?"
Diggle "I was, till I saw what was for dinner - can I have desert please?"

While I am fixing the TV and fiddling behind it with the wires so I can re-set everything.
Diggle "Mom, if the house goes on fire now, its been nice knowing you" - Its nice to know he has faith in me!

Diggle typing out an answer on the computer as to why he should be on TV "Because I am super cool"
Princess "Well if he gets to go on TV I will tell them I must go too, cause I am super pretty, and that's just like being super cool, only.....prettier!"

The best one recently, and one that scared me the most was the other day when they wanted money to take to school for the book fair.
Me: "I'm not sure if I have any cash, we will have to look and see in my wallet"
Princess:  "That's ok Mommy, just give us your credit card and we can take that to school!"
WHA??? Ermmm, no!













Sunday, 27 May 2012

Relaxing weekend?


Finally a summer weekend when I don't feel rushed!  You see previous years we would book our camping trips with only one weekend at home between them.  This meant that that weekend was spent trying to unpack and repack for the next trip!  Not all that relaxing!  This year we more sensibly left two weekends between our trips and booked a few longer trips.  

That means that today is house clean up day..it looks like Hicksville around here.  I have piles of clothes on the floor, a pile that is too big for me, a pile that is too small for the kids, a pile of clean washing that needs to be put away, a pile hat needs altering and fixing (yes I sew), but you get the picture!  We also need to mow the grass and do the yard work, and valet the cars cause not only the inside of the house looks like Hicksville!  The poor monster dog is having to bound through the garden so she doesn't get lost in the grass, and the neighbours must think we have vacated the lot....but no, they probably saw us sitting outside with our friends across the road last night.  

Tonight I get a girls night out with my two bf's from the street, at least that will give me some down time to recover from my day of cleaning - we all know I'm not used to that sort of manual labour.

Oh and to start the day off right, Diggle is wondering around the house with orange stripes in his hair, and princess with pink stripes, I guess they are my kids after all!


Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Things I used to want for my kids

I used to want them to always be dressed cute, to always look nice.  Now I just want them to be wearing something without holes and preferable no food stains.

I used to want them to have time alone from each other, develop their own personalities - more so because they are twins and always with each other.  Now I just want them to play together so I dont have one complaining they are bored and that their sibling does not want to play

I used to want them to eat, to grow and gain weight (they were born preemie),  now I wish they would stop nibbling on anything they can find.

I used to want them to have lots of friends, ok I still want them to have lots of friends, I just wish they would stop wanting them to come inside and play...its nice weather outside, go out there!

I used to want them to stand up for themselves and each other, and yes I still do, just not to me!  The backchat and arguing with me needs to stop.

I used to want them to have the best of everything, now I just want them to get through the day in one piece, without any new cuts, scrapes, bruises and emotional trauma.

I used to want them to be successful when they grew up, now I just want them to be happy and healthy...-although I would not complain if they earn enough to keep me when I am older ;) 

I used to want them to always love me, and always love each other,....hey, what do you know, I still want that, although I am willing to concede that we will not always like each other. ;)


Wednesday, 16 May 2012

1st camping trip of the season


Yesterday morning my wonderful, adorable kids (if I type what I thought at the time someone would call child services) woke up at 6:00am and decided to help me by packing their own clothes for our upcoming camping trip.   I looked in their cases this evening and they had packed every pair of underwear they own,  at least 7 pairs of pajamas each (both summer and winter), and a few pairs of shorts.  Oh and every swim suit they could find, both last years and this years.  There were no shirts, no warm clothes, oh and did I mention we are only going for 3 nights?  

On one hand at least we know they are excited and looking forward to it, on the other, I had to spend a whole bunch of extra time this evening putting all their clothes back away.  I guess I will repack the cases myself tomorrow while they are at school.


Of course they could just be excited that they get a day off school on Friday, which I will admit was always enough for me to get excited about when I was their age.  

I still have a ton of packing to do, because as usual I have left most stuff till the last minute. I have done the shopping, but the clean clothes are still all piled on the chair needing to be put away before I can even think about what to pack for myself, and then I still have to do all the little things like pack food and medicines - a major job because I go to the extreme of being over prepared in case someone gets mauled by a bear or breaks a leg on hike. If you are reading that and thinking WTF?? well, meet my family! 


The whole packing thing seems to come together in the end, so I won't stress too much about it, after all I have another whole 24 hours before I need to panic.   

Saturday, 12 May 2012

Mothers day



To all the wonderfully dysfunctional    mothers out there....happy mothers day.  We are what makes the world interesting.  I hope you get a day of peace, where no one fights with each other, no one pees on the floor, and maybe the kids remember to flush for a change.  A day where the kids let you sleep in past 7:00am, and give you an extra special hug in the morning.

I know we often beat ourselves up on our mothering skills,(ok, maybe not, maybe we realize that we are not perfect...but being perfect sucks anyway!) but look around, I am pretty sure it's not hard to find kids a lot worse behaved than yours.....we must be doing something vaguely right.  

In our family we don't usually do anything overly special for mothers day, the kids give me something small,  I know they have made something from school, as they would not let me look in their bags on Friday (Diggle is getting better at this secret keeping thing).  DH helps the kids make me a nice breakfast and then it's pretty much a usual day.  We will be packing the trailer, as we never got it finished today, I will be doing laundry and maybe if I am lucky I can use the fact that it is mothers day to bribe some good behavior from the kids.

Whatever your situation, take whatever love and kindness is shown to you and embrace it knowing you deserve it and a million times more, because without us Moms around ......well Lord of the flies springs to mind.

Oh and this is the card I expect to get from DH tomorrow ;)



Friday, 11 May 2012

My split personality


I am crabby, irritated and generally don't feel like talking to too many people at the moment.  So don't call me unless you want to compliment me, tell me how amazing I am, or give me money.  Otherwise its very likely I will just be irritated with you too.



I can't tell what has got my panties in a bunch, it just happened.
Too many people making stupid postings on facebook, showing off how simple minded they are - perhaps.
Too many people wallowing in their own misery to even contemplate what else is going on in the world, or that there are people out there with real problems - perhaps...but then again isn't that exactly what I am doing too?
Too many people who just don't communicate - definitely...how much easier would the world be if we could be mind readers?  Of course we would all be in deep trouble too, just think no more secrets....ok maybe not such a good idea!
Maybe its just that I dont feel like doing any of the multitude of things sitting here needing my attention I guess I will just pick the easiest ones for today!

..................................................................
I typed this yesterday, thankfully today I am in a much better mood.  People can call me again and I promise I will be nice.  Its Friday, the kids have a birthday party tonight and if DH is not sick and miserable we can even consider going out for a dinner date while the kids are probably catching some germ at ChuckECheese.
This weekend we have have to finish all the work on the trailer and finish packing it, cause next weekend camping season starts!!! - <---yes I am looking forward to it!

I had a Mommy fail this morning when I realized I completely forgot to send back the kids placement forms for next year for school, so I have to run those in to the school and then get started on all the complex things I ignored yesterday.

Now if this headache would just go away I may get motivated......

Thursday, 3 May 2012

10 random things you maybe did or didn't know about me


  • I have been held at gunpoint, suspected of being a mercenary come to assassinate a President of a small island nation. - Nothing like a group of teen soldiers pointing AK47's at you to make you realize how quickly things can go wrong.
  • I have dived with Sharks, dolphins and a lot of fantastic people!
  • I hitchhiked as a teenager in South Africa, with a little pocket knife as protection! - I think I had a guardian angel as a teenager ;)  - If I had to put all the stupid things I did on here, my family would no longer talk to me and the list would be way too long.
  • I was known as coffin kid as a teen, cause I used to do the whole goth/all in black thing - yep even wore a mohawk a few times.
  • I have been in two car accidents, once as a driver (not a very serious one, and involved a highly inebriated old lady), once as a passenger (wrote off the car totally - not a fun night), and one boat accident when we flipped a dive boat in the rough surf.
  • I once divemastered/assisted training for a platoon of British Army guys (Queens Guards) for their Openwater diver certs. 
  • I don't drink tea.  My Mom used to make us have tea with nearly everything, and I rebelled, so my hot drink of choice is pretty much coffee, since hot chocolate does bad things to my thighs ;)
  • I am the youngest of 4 children,  I grew up with three older brothers.
  • I love saving money, especially when I have to spend to save....ok, yes I love shopping and getting a good deal.
  • I really need to join over planners anonymous, as I over plan and speculate about everything, and yet some of the best and most amazing things I have done have been on a whim with little forethought.  

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

10 things I am thankful for

Firstly let me start by saying this 10 things series is hard...hence the reason you have not seen any posts.
I have a couple of posts started, but I cant seem to come up with 10 things to say on each topic...how sad is that?
Anyway this should be an easier one to complete, after all being thankful is easy, and always helps to put you in a good mood when you realize how much you have to be thankful for.

I am thankful:

  • for the fact that my children can play out on the street without me having to be out there with them the whole time.  I guess that boils down to also being thankful for the great neighborhood I live in.
  • that I have the ability to stay home and raise my kids myself.  As much as some days I would far rather be at work with adults,  I am glad that even though I am not going to win any mother of the year awards, they can come home and be with me.
  • for technology that allows me to stay in touch with family and friends so very far away....I would be so lost without you.
  • that the monster dog has finally stopped eating my shoes
  • that spring is here and we will soon be camping
  • that the taxes are done and we are getting a nice refund.
  • that I have the most amazing mix of friends ever
  • that this weeks spelling tests are over and I  no longer have to try and teach my kids the abysmal words that were on their list last week.  
  • that I actually lost weight last week even though I went out to lunch once and dinner once and ate desert that was about 10000 calories.
  • that the kids are now in bed and I can relax and watch some tv and read.
There that was not so hard....yay, now I am also thankful that this is done!



Wednesday, 25 April 2012

100 Things Blog Challenge



Over at Livejournal, another blogging community I read, they have a challenge going to help with inspiring writing.  Well I need inspiration, right?  So I figured hey maybe I will try this.  Its called the 100 things challenge.   Now you can interpret it any way you want, and you can break it down into a couple of posts, you don't have to post all 100 things at once (I would not want to put you all to sleep in one go too!)

I have decided I am going to do 10 posts of 10 things.  10 things I never...., 10 things I did...., 10 things no one would ever believe about me, 10 time I....etc.  So if you have something you think I should add to my 10 things list, let me know and I will consider it.  I am saying consider, as I know some of my friends and their senses of humour.  So, feel free to ask away, otherwise I have more than enough info to get working on the first few posts, and we will see from there.  Now to just find the time to sit and type them out.....can't blame the taxes any more, they are done!!

Monday, 23 April 2012

I did it!!

Yes I did!  Its over and I survived.
Let me start at the beginning!
The night before, I had an awful nights sleep, it consisted of me having absolutely bizarre dreams, about races where people kill each other, there were beheadings and a bunch of other disturbing stuff.  I was too hot under the duvet and combine that with stomach cramps and hey ho....what a fantastic way to start.  I woke up at about 4am with cramps (a possibility I had thought may happen right at the wrong time!)  Damn sometimes being a girl sucks!  Anyway the alarm went off, and I dragged my weary ass out of bed, downed some Tylenol Extra Strength and got dressed.  The kids were a little hyped up but we all got ready and headed out, only to get outside the house and find......light snow flakes drifting down from the sky!  So much for the lovely sunny, but cool running weather we were promised, it was cloudy, snowing, the wind was blowing and it was freezing!

We got to the race site, met up with the girls I was running with, collected our chips and waited while we froze!
Eventually it was time for us to start.  I felt good, we set off down the road and after about 40 meters headed into the woods on the trails.  Well about 30 meters in I stood on a root and rolled my ankle.  Fortunately it was my good ankle, not my ankle with the pins, screws, nuts and bolts holding it together, so I hobbled, hopped and swore a little until it eased up and I basically just ran through it.  There was no way in hell I was giving up now!

Now as I posted in my last post, it was hilly!  I hate hills!  And the hills were brutal!  Some were so steep that even walking up them (and yes I did walk them!) my legs were burning and I was praying to get to the top.  But at the 3km mark we hit the golf cart trails and the downhill and things improved!  Overall, it was not a bad race, the pain pills probably helped with the ankle injury too, and I made it in under 40 minutes (just) - 39:34s to be exact.  I was hoping for closer to 35 minutes but considering the hills sucked and all the other issues, I am not going to complain.  And as Diggle said..."I am proud of you Mommy, you didn't come last"

I even got some photos (thanks to DH) that I don' t hate.  I saw him standing at the end with his camera and managed to flash him a half smile half grimace, so I don't look like I am about to die.  I was considering flipping him off, but there were children and other adults who looked like they may not approve so I refrained.  

Would I do it again?  If someone had to ask me to run with them again, yes I probably would, but I would probably be more selective about trying to chose a flatter course....I think I may be crazy?  However, today I have no intention of running anywhere!

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Ideas and help please




Well I need help....yes I am not denying I may need that kind of help too, but this is about writing help.  I have run out of ideas for my blog.  I need some prompts.  What would you as my readers like to read about.  Any facet of my life?  My take on  a fascinating topic?  French fries.....ok I may be clutching at straws here, clearly my mind is blank....except for french fries.  Maybe I should have eaten more for breakfast since its only 10:30am and I am thinking of french fries....or oooh even better that Mars Bar that Diggle left on top of the fridge.  Damn, now I am going to have to lock myself upstairs until lunch time!

But I digress.....yes I know I do that rather easily!   - I think my writing block may be due to the fact that at this point all I can think of is "oh crap - why did I say I would run that race on Sunday"  Its suddenly very real and I am not sure I am ready for this.  I went and looked at the route (which they had not published when I signed up for this) and the 1st 3K are hilly.....I am pretty much fucked...I hate hills!  But lets think on the bright side, the last 2K is mostly downhill.  At least that will be when I am tired...and I like downhills.  Next post I will let you know if I survived.  If there is no next post, can someone please come and scrape me off the trail!


Friday, 13 April 2012

Random Observations


  • I got notified by Google this week that my blog ranks number 1 in the search "m40 porn" I bet the poor sod who searched that term never expected to end up on my blog page!


  • Its nearly tax deadline and I have still not even looked at my taxes.  I hate doing them so I procrastinate....I would rather clean the house.   - But seriously there are much better things to do than even cleaning the house.  Besides I put DH's tax form somewhere safe a few months back when I was cleaning the house and now I cant find it....see nothing good comes from cleaning!


  • 1 week to go till my run, I am starting to feel a little more confident....have also informed DH that any photos he intends to take have to be converted to black and white so no-one can see how bright red and splotchy I am after running.  


  • I had a really bad week eating Easter chocolates....I deserve to gain 10lbs!


  • I finally have the chocolate situation under control. I took all the chocolates down to the basement and put them in the cold room.  This works for me, as even though I am greedy and cannot control my chocolate eating, I have realized I am far lazier than I am greedy.  I don't have the motivation to get off my butt and make the trip down to the basement to get the chocolate.  I am not sure which is worse, being lazy or a glutton, but in this case the laziness is working for me, so I am going with it.


  • DH took a bunch of photos of me last weekend, while he was playing around with some lighting and flash stuff. Some of them turned out really well....I still think my face could look thinner, but that will come, unless I keep eating the Easter chocolates that is! Of course I will say he took LOTS of pictures of me to get just a few that looked good....I am not very photogenic....so to me its a major thing to get some that looked good.  If you are my friend on Facebook I am sorry if you got your fill of my pictures...its just so rare I had to share.



Thursday, 5 April 2012

Creme Eggs are Evil

Yes they are!  Oh and I feel kind of ill right now.

Let me start at the beginning.  Today, being the Thursday before Easter I went shopping to buy the kids Easter eggs.  I left it this late for a reason, namely if there is chocolate hidden in the house I eat it.  Anyway I got home with the stash and decided that those bags of little mini creme eggs could do with having their load lightened.  So I ate a few.  I stopped after just a couple.  Really, I promise!

Then later DH came home from work, he stopped at the store and bought more for him to eat over the next few days (he knew I would not divulge my hiding spot for the kids chocolates).  Anyway after dinner he offered me one of the large creme eggs.  Who was I to say no.  I may have whimpered, but I am weak,  I have no willpower so I took one.  I bit the top off and proceeded to lick the inside out with great gusto.  It was pornographic....but oh so lovely.  ( On a completely separate topic, DH tells me I have a freakishly long tongue but I reckon he is just jealous.)

Anyway what this has all led to is my current state of affairs....me feeling ill and trying to drink a large bottle of water to wash this feeling away.  What happened to the days where I could eat chocolate after chocolate without feeling ill?  I suppose its a good thing that I can't anymore, but still. it kind of sucks to feel ill after such a little.  Now if someone could just hide the kids stash from me I should survive the next few days.


Friday, 30 March 2012

Things you wish your kids had never said



"Mommy, I can't wait till I am old like you and have floppy boobies" (thanks sweetie! I can't wait to remind you of this one after you have had kids). - I'm off to buy a good push up bra now!

"Its not a fucking toy, it's just a toy mommy". - ok, time to try and curb the swearing around little ears.....nah, just educate them on what grown ups are allowed to say vs kids - so much easier!




"Mommy if you diet you can get nice and skinny like (insert skinny bitch friends name here)" - I'm trying dammit, now stop waving that yummy looking treat in front of me, I might bite off some of your fingers when I snap at it!

"Oooops" - always bad, no matter what, where or when.

"Do you think I want to breath on you?" -  Said by Diggle after asking for proof that he did indeed brush his teeth. A sure sign that he lied about doing it the first time!

And finally....my nightmarish comment I heard last night at bedtime...."I can't wait till summer then we can stay up late every night!"    - is it fall yet?



Monday, 26 March 2012

Certifiable



I sniffed the dog!   Only after doing it did I realize what I had done, its the sort of thing you do to a kid, or to something you maybe find on the floor, you know what I mean...sniff a brown mark to see what it is!

It was on the dogs neck, which means she probably rolled in something, so why on earth would I sniff it??  Well I had a suspicion it was not what it looked like, since she had not been outside since the kids left for school.  I was right (thankfully).  It was nutella!  Yep, the dog smelled like chocolate - bet you were not expecting that!  Neither was I! To my credit, I at least did not lick the dog....after all I do have some standards.

Now I can deduce that it came from Diggle, he had waffles for breakfast with nutella on them, - don't judge me it was Monday morning and I wanted the kids to eat and get out the house for school.  Anyway what this means is either Diggle wiped his hands on the dog, entirely possible and somehow better than his usual option of his pants which means we have to find him new ones before he leaves for school.  (Because no matter how bad a parent I am I don't let my kid go to school looking like he has shit wiped down his pants).  Or the dog rolled on a piece of his waffle....also entirely possible.  If the second scenario is correct which is the one I am leaning towards it brings the question of who ate the piece after the dog rolled on it.  Diggle or the monster dog.   I am not sure I really want to know!

Sunday, 25 March 2012

Rationally Concerned


Scared? who me?  Nope, just rationally concerned.  After all I am supposed to be running this 5K in a months time and I still suck at it (running that is). I am pretty pathetic I can run, but I really don't get much enjoyment from it, I would rather be walking, hence I run a kilometer and then since I am wheezing I walk a couple of meters and start feeling guilty and start running again..and so the cycle goes, overall it means I am slow...very slow.  Now the logical part of my brain tells me that I have lots of time to get my fitness levels up, I mean its 4 weeks away right?  The non logical part is telling me there is no way in hell I am going to be ready to run this and keep up with the girls who I am running with.  Did I mention them before?  They are sisters in fact, who convinced me that this was a good idea.  They are both in their 20's, Shit!! I am 41, what was I thinking?  Ok, I really cant blame the younger one, I in fact had a bit to do with suckering her into this, the older one,....well you know who you are, its all your fault!  You got to me after a few glasses of wine, my resistance to silly ideas was down!  I have been known to agree to do stupid things after wine....usually a lot more than I had to drink that night though.





I know realistically that I can do this, in fact I will be elated after I do this.  I will be proud of what I have accomplished...I already am proud beyond belief of how far I have come.  I am over 45lbs down. Its been one year now, one year of slowly feeling better about myself week by week. A year of finding the old me, who I thought was long gone, but I am glad to see back.
By the time I run this race I will be over 50 lbs, and getting close to my goal.  That does not change the fact that I am still rationally concerned about running this, ok I am not rationally concerned, I am fucking terrified!  Who knows though, maybe afterwards I will want to sign up for another one in the fall.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Sanity?

I lost mine years ago, and I really have no one to blame but myself.  I live in denial most of the time, well ok, maybe not denial, but in the past I at least tried to hide it from the public at large.  I guess now that I am blogging its no point, my failures and screwups are here for the world to see (and provide amusement).

Yesterday was epic, I went for a run.  Simple? not really.  I wore my ankle brace as last time I ran outdoors my ankle took a lot of strain.  after about 2km I could feel the outside of my foot cramping where the ankle brace was squeezing, so I decided to cut it short and only do 3km. I get home, unzip my pocket for my front door key and......nothing!  Great, now I am locked out the house, hot and sweating with a sore foot.  I had my cell phone with me, but before I called in DH to play the knight in shining armor (well ok, the man in the dirty car), I decided to retrace my route and look for the key.  I walked the entire 3km again, but sadly no key.

Of course I did not think to stop and take the ankle brace off so now I have a sore foot and a sore shin muscle (who knew you had a muscle in your shin?) from walking funny.  I then had to phone DH, get him to leave work and come home and rescue me, and had to get new front door keys cut.  The kicker is when telling some of my friends about this they said well why did you take your key, just leave your front door unlocked, or hide your key on the porch.  I guess they did not grow up in South Africa.

On the bright side, our weather is glorious, its about 20C warmer than seasonal, and since today is the first day of spring, things are looking up.  Another bright spot is March Break is over, the kids are back at school and I no longer have to entertain them, and to end a good day I get to go out with my SA Ladies for sushi tonight....life could be worse.    

Thursday, 15 March 2012

March Break

We are in the middle of the famous March Break.  The end of winter/start of spring week long hell  holiday from school.  I really should not complain, we have had wonderful weather so far.  It's totally unlike our usual March break, where we are stuck indoors with cold weather, snow and/or rain.  There is no snow outside, the sun is out and the kids are running around the street in shorts and t-shirts.  The good weather means we are not having bouts of cabin fever after a few days cooped up together, it is possible to throw the kids into the street to play with the neighbourhood gang, we were even able to give the kids one of their birthday presents early (scooters) so that they can join the gang going around the local streets spying on all the neighbours.

However, today is the 7th day in a row that we have been home, there are a few things I am getting sick of saying.  Here are some of them.

  • You are not the boss of your brother/sister
  • leave your sister alone. (never the other way round??)
  • please stop talking (also always at Diggle - this kid has verbal diarrhea)
  • I cant hear you........my earphones are in (yes I know...but its keeping me sane)
  • I know it hurts but if you don't stop crying I wont let you ride the scooter any more.
  • there is no blood, you will live
  • ask your dad when he gets home
  • no dinner is not ready, eat some fruit
  • why is there sand all over the floor
  • no you cant stay up late tonight...because no matter how late you stay up, you will be awake by 7am tomorrow!


You get the general idea of how my week is going?  I love my kids dearly, I really do,....really.

Princess was sick for the 1st few days, now everyone is healthyish, so we went grocery shopping today...with two kids.  I bribed, I pleaded, I threatened.......the bribes worked the best.  They behaved reasonably well.  I came home with lots of stuff I did not need, and without half the stuff I did need, but we will now make it through till they are back at school.  One woman at the shops told me she loved the way I spoke to my kids, so patient and kind?? WTF?  Ok, probably cause I sent them on errands to get stuff and did not complain when they came back with the slightly blemished fruit etc, I just rolled my eyes slightly and put it in the cart.  When she said this, Diggle looked like he was about to say something but one of my death stares that clearly said "buddy speak now and you will not get your bribery reward" worked and he shut right up (sometimes miracles do happen!)  Somewhere out there, there is a local lady who thinks I'm a brilliant mother....there is hope yet...maybe I can fool a few more.

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Spring fever



I wish it was the the cleaning type, Lord knows my house could do with a good clean. Sadly I think the widely sweeping temperature changes have brought back a round of sickness.

The princess started on Wednesday last week, she has been running a fever on and off since then, and has done a lot of sleeping! In fact this is the first time I have had a sick kid who wants to sleep during the day...it's almost alarming. Being the sort of mommy that I am who tends not to over react, we have been waiting it out and not going to the dr. Finally today, she has no fever and is sounding irritatingly like herself. That means giggling, laughing and loud voices at an ungodly like hour this morning. (I guess all that sleeping she has been doing means she is now well rested?)

So now it's march break, the kids are off school for a week, and everyone is finally healthy? We can start to enjoy our lovely spring weather.....oh no, hold that thought, I woke up this morning feeling like I have been hit by a truck. I guess holding a sick child and getting coughed on means its now my turn to be sick. Just what I need, two healthy children at home all day with me feeling like crap.

 Oh and guess what? I have still not gone birthday present shopping, for their birthday on Friday, or bought the snacks and goodie bags for their party on Saturday....I am so screwed.

Friday, 9 March 2012

Running



As I have mentioned I am running a 5k at the end of April, a first for me! Anyway it's winter here, so snow and ice, means I have had no desire to train outside. I have a treadmill and have been running inside. I run anywhere from 5-7k on the treadmill three times a week.

We had our first springish day on wednesday and I decided to go for a run outside. I mapped out 5k and set out, feeling good about myself. I felt good for around the first 750 meters, which is when reality set in. Running outside is hard. It goes by quicker cause you have stuff to look at, but it's a lot harder on the body. I have a month and a half to train, and have a feeling I may be in trouble. I had to walk at least half of my 5k , but still managed to do it in a semi decent time.



I guess I will just have to keep up with the training and hope it gets better. Oh and I discovered something else interesting.....running outside uses a whole different set of muscles than the treadmill does....and OW! My butt hurts! And walking down the stairs is not much fun at the moment.

Thursday, 8 March 2012

You like me?


Wow I am blown away, I am averaging over 60 hits per blog post. Now I know that's not a whole lot, and maybe I just have a single stalker who keeps repeatedly logging into my blog, if this is the case, I have to hope he is rich and good looking!
Regardless, it's a whole lot more than I thought I would have with only 3 months of blogging under my belt.

To be honest I figured maybe I would have 10 people who were interested enough to read what I had to say, maybe 5 family and 5 friends, all checking that I am not saying rude or nasty things about them. Oh and of course some of the family members may just be being nosey and wanting to know what the hell I am doing with my life since I am so bad at sending emails to keep them updated.


But no, it would seem some of you genuinely enjoy reading my blog! On the other hand you could just be laughing at my bad writing or pathetic life, but thanks for reading anyway!

I don't really have anything witty and good for you to read today, so it's short and sweet, I
am seriously sleep deprived thanks to sick kids and a monster dog who decided that 2am is a great time to play, "let's ignore the silly woman in her pajamas who is chasing me round the yard, it's a great time to refuse to go back inside and sleep!"  Tonight if she asks to go out in the middle of the night, she had better learn to cross her legs and clench!

Thanks for reading and making me feel like its a worthwhile endeavor.

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Passion and new challenges


Ok, firstly since I now know that DH reads my blog thanks to my post about mans inability to judge, I will state that this is not about passion in the bed.  Now he can safely stop reading, I bet I know a bunch of others who just stopped reading too!

Image by Dennis Guichard -
taken at my old dive grounds, Aliwal Shoal, South Africa
Those of you who do know me personally, know that I have always been passionate about my diving, and my love of the ocean. I grew up in a house overlooking the Indian Ocean, watching the ships go by and at certain times of the year trying to spot sardine shoals out at sea.  On a good night I could sleep with my windows open and hear the waves in the distance. There was nothing quite like the view from my brothers' bedroom on a moonlit night.  (My bedroom had a view of a wall? Seriously not fair there!) It's the one reason why I never truly wanted to settle in Toronto with no ocean in sight.  However, before my dear friends here threaten once again to break my legs or kidnap my children so that I cannot leave, I have settled here!  (and those dear friends are welcome to kidnap my children any day - I know they will send them back pretty quickly!)

A while ago I signed up and liked a group on Facebook to help protest the sale of shark fins, and offered to volunteer and help them out in any way.  Nothing came of that, until last week, when they said they were looking for help, so I contacted them again and things moved positively on from there.  Well I now hope to be kept busy with a bunch of exciting projects and love every minute of it.

It feels good to have a purpose again, to feel like I am doing something worthwhile.  Not that raising the kids is not purposeful and worthwhile, after all I hope it will pay back when I am old and grey and they are rich and can take care of me.  My purpose is to get them to this stage while still keeping my sanity and hope they don't ship me into an old age home.

My birthday is coming up and I feel that the past year has changed me in so many ways.  I have new challenges to face, (including my first real run - which is fast sneaking up on me!) and feel like the next year ahead is going to be as good for me as my 40th, perhaps even better?


Monday, 5 March 2012

Aliens and parties


Ah there is nothing like standing on a squishy green alien in the middle of the night.  And sadly it happened not once but twice in the same night.


Let me explain.  Firstly I did not have any strange visitors from other worlds, although it may have spiced up my life if I did.  Diggle has these squishy aliens, you hook their legs into a catapult thing and stretch them out and fling them through the air.  Well the monster dog must have snuck into the kids bedroom once they were asleep and stolen two of them.  Then left them laying around in the passage outside my bedroom.  She then proceeded to wake me to ask to be let outside in the middle of the night.  Cue me leaping out of bed and padding my way down the passage only to stand on something squishy and cold....my heart dropped, I picked up my foot and fortunately it did not stick.....phew I realized my first thought was wrong, so I felt around in the dark till I got it and put it on a ledge out of her way.  Of course I discovered the next alien a few hours later when Diggle woke up and decided to yell for me to come and take him to the washroom cause it was too dark.  The joys of motherhood!

The twins birthday is fast approaching, the party is now booked, kids are RSVPing and I have not done any shopping.  This would not be an issue except that their birthday falls over March break, and while this is nice for the kids as they never have to go to school on their birthday it means that I will have both kids with me for the week prior to the actual day.  I guess I had better get on with the shopping.  Princess has been making a list, she is a marketers dream, anything she sees on tv, she wants!  Diggle on the other hand has one thing on his list, Mario Cart for the 3DS.

Between the two of them, being twins, you would think they would be able to reach a decision on where they wanted their party to be held.  No, of course its never that easy.  One wants ChuckECheese, the other thinks that is too babyish? Someone at school told him this.  One wants to go ice skating, the other doesn't.  One wants to go mini golfing the other thinks that idea sucks.  Finally we all agreed on trampolining.....an hour on the trampolines 1st,  followed by juice, snacks and cake after, then we all go home and try and forget it ever happened.  I was going to try and book it close to a meal time so that at least we could feed the kids pizza, but no, no slots available, so its going to be mid afternoon and we are just doing snacks and loading the kids up on crap and sugar....oh what fun!  

The parties of my youth seem so simple now, they were all held at houses, my Dad was a magician, so he would usually be the entertainment, while I died of embaressment (actually he was really good, but you know how kids are!).  Now I know it would be a lot cheaper to do a home party, but seriously the thought of having 12 - 16 screaming kids in my house, entertaining them, feeding them, then cleaning up once they have gone??  I will happily pay some place to do all that for me!

My goal is to survive the next two weeks, then we will be on the downward spiral to spring and life will be looking rosy! Roll on warm weather!

Thursday, 1 March 2012

A mans inability to Judge


If you are not married or in a relationship you probably wont "get" this post, also if you are offended by talk of "that time of the month" turn back now!

I don't know how many of you ladies out there have husbands like mine.  The sort who always feel its been forever since you last had sex.  Last night I was complaining of a headache and cramps, and got the "what still? you have had your period for like two weeks now" comment from DH.
I replied with STFU, we had sex on Friday night, I started acting bitchy on Saturday and its Wednesday now, last time I checked a calendar that is no where near two weeks and if you ever want sex again go away and don't come back unless you have chocolate.

I then retired to watch tv by myself and enjoy  my own company for a bit, but it got me to thinking, why is it always me who feels like I am letting the team down? oh my, we cant have sex this week  since my body is not playing along.  Why do I end up feeling guilty?  And then on the other hand I started getting mad, why can he not remember doing me on Friday??  Am I that forgettable?  After 24 years together is it all just a routine and then we blank it from our minds....maybe in his mind he was doing someone else....I know I was! (Ok, I am throwing that in there to see if he actually reads my blog).   Maybe its about time for me to learn some new tricks...then again maybe he needs to learn some new tricks!


I think maybe it boils down to the fact that men think about sex so often that if they have not done the act in the last 24 hours it feels like months for them.  Of course I have no answer as to why they cant seem to correctly judge what 6 - 8 inches really looks like....

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Excuses for wasting time


Today at my weight watchers meeting (yes I am still trying to lose more weight), we discussed excuses for not exercising.  As much as the leader tried to phrase it to get people to agree that if they looked at it in a different  way, like a night out, or time to themselves etc they may tend to do it more, I had to disagree.  The toss up between going and running and laying around reading, being lazy wins every time for me.

I came to realization that the only thing that keeps me running is fear.  Fear of gaining the weight back, fear of looking like an idiot when I do my run at the end of April, at this point even the fear of failure can motivate me.  I guess that means in the bribery vs punishment system I am a punishment girl.  I will do what needs to be done, not for the reward but to avoid the pain at the end.

The thing is, it is so easy to have other things to do, a good book to finish, the housework that needs doing (who am I  kidding, I think I may even prefer running to housework - but its a close call), dinner to be cooked, shopping to be done, even that long lost friend who you have not spoken to in ages, its definitely time to call them rather than run.

I have been running long enough now that it is a habit, I do feel bad if I don't get at least 3 runs a week in.  My body knows and feels like crap if I am lazy.  Also I love the feeling after the run, that feeling of accomplishment, of knowing I did my best time, or furthest distance, or even that I got the run done and worked up a sweat.  However all this does not help to make it any easier to get my butt out for a run.  We all know I have no issue with putting on my running  clothes, I can get as far as being dressed, having my iPod in and then spend the day on the couch listening to music rather than take those extra few steps of lacing up my shoes and heading out.  

I am easily distracted and easily unmotivated, in fact I just took a 30 minute distraction break from typing this out to half complete a form I need to for my brother.  Notice how I said half complete, I got distracted from my distraction by my original task...pretty lame!  Of course I could just say I am a multi-tasker and using my great organization abilities.


Sometimes excuses work in your favor, I mean it is great that doing the taxes seems like more fun than running right?  They need to get done, you get money back. Again, who am I kidding?!?  taxes vs running, I am off for a run! I hate doing the taxes! But you get my meaning, sometimes the excuse may mean you get something else that has been sitting there done since it is the lesser of the two evils.

My excuse for today is I am sitting here waiting for a phone call from the place the kids want to have their birthday party at.  I don't want to miss the call as I need to book it and get the invitations out this week.  Maybe if they call me back soon I will get my ass  into my running clothes and.....well we wont hold our breath, time is ticking away and its nearly lunch time.


Saturday, 25 February 2012

Things my children will one day understand - Part Deux


Image By: Monique Jansen

  • There are toys that mommy keeps forgetting to buy batteries for, I am really sorry. And for some reason, even when you have put them on my shopping list the store is out of that size. There is absolutely no correlation between this and how annoying your dad and I find those particular toys....nope none whatsoever!
  • No amount of negotiation is going to change your school night bedtime. I don't really care if you are not tired, I am! Go in your room and lie in bed talking to each other till you fall asleep. This is my time to unwind, relax and clean up the kitchen before decent tv starts for the night.
  • When you come down from a time out, it is a good time to look subdued and remorseful. Do not come down and immediately start arguing over why you were unjustly sent for a timeout. Even if you were, this is not going to help. In fact it will more than likely result in you being sent back to your room.
  • Refusing to eat your dinner because you are "full" and then suddenly getting hungry for a sandwich later on is not going to work.
  • Occasionally I will ask you what you want for dinner and give you some options to choose from. This is usually when I have nothing prepared. If you cant come to an agreement between the two of you, I will pick the easiest and quickest thing to cook and you will eat it. I will not be making you two separate meals just because you both picked different things.
  • On weekends when Mommys and Daddys like to sleep in, it is not a good idea to come through and tell me that you are awake and going downstairs. Just go, raid the cereal cupboard and watch some tv.....quietly!!
  • Asking me to leave the room so you can play does not really make me want to rush out and leave you to your own devices. Also, if you have hidden something you don't want me to find, telling me where "not to look" is usually a good place for me to immediately go to. I know one day you will clue into this and probably start messing with my head using it to your advantage, but for now I love that you are pretty transparent.
  • This one is for Diggle alone....it is insanely creepy when you sneak up and scare the crap out of me! You have made my hair stand on end! Please stop....just stop!

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Gluteus Maximus

I have a pulled butt muscle!  Its just lovely and I don't even have a good story to tell you about how it happened.  In fact I am not even sure how it happened as I first felt it a good 24 hours after a run, I was climbing out the car to get the kids from school when I felt it twinge!  Just great, there goes my running for the next while, while I rest my butt - literally!

So I guess I am supposed to implement RICE here....

Rest - well ok, how much can I rest, I can stop running, but I cant stop walking, cleaning up after the kids and general activity, the family would starve and the kids would never get home from school....hmmm, theres an interesting thought.

Ice - I could go and sit my butt outside in the snow!  Or I suppose the less inventive way would be to shove an ice pack down my pants!

Compression - How to compress my butt?  I have no idea, if I could do this I would have done it years ago, it would have saved me a fortune in dieting!

Elevation - I don't care I am not putting my butt in the air while I rest!

I guess I could go for a massage, although I feel a little bashful to phone and book myself in for a butt massage, anyone got any ideas on this one?  I am thinking I probably just have to wait it out and hope it heals quickly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today in my effort not to run I cleaned the house a bit and did some of the paperwork that I had been putting off for the last 6 months as I found this particular task too daunting.  Surprisingly once I started it I found it was relatively simple and within an hour I had it completed and have felt a huge sense of relief to have it off my desk instead of sitting under my keyboard trying to be ignored.

I also did a general clean of my desk which led me to find some unclaimed medical expenses which I submitted and even got me to check that the cheque for DH's life insurance cleared before the renewal date.  Not that I plan on offing him in the near future, but you can never be too prepared (in the life insurance and ways to off him department).

Tomorrow we are expecting a snow storm, our first majorish one of the winter.  It seems really odd to be thinking of that only now near the end of February.  It will be good to have some snow around though, so maybe this weekend we can get out sledding with the kids.  I guess shoveling the snow from the driveway tomorrow will be my exercise, that can't use too many butt muscles can it?
Oh and the bright side, I may even get to  sit down for a while and ice my butt!

Monday, 20 February 2012

Family Day

Well the good news is I am not in hospital, I survived my ice skating escapade yesterday. In fact I skated the best I ever have, and did not land on my ass or head at any time! I think it was my awesome new skates, along with my new attitude towards doing all these things I have been too scared or lax to do before.

Today was Family Day here in Canada, a holiday for most people. Its a day created for us to spend time with family, I guess in order to make you appreciate them more?

 We went canoe shopping with the kids. About three hours in the car with the kids asking for snacks (which fortunately I had), and playing their DS's. A few grumbles and thankfully no one needing to stop to pee.  Along with the road trip, factor in a good hour at the canoe place trying to keep the kids from knocking all the canoes over and doing any damage, while discussing the merits of various models vs cost and weights with DH.
I appreciate my family really well now! Actually I appreciate how it could have been worse too. DH and I got into a little discussion on the way home when I was supposed to be navigating and he missed the turn off for a road he knew we needed to take.  Apparently I was too wrapped up looking at something on twitter to notice we were getting close to the turn off and tell him.  So it took us a little longer to get home via the scenic route.

After we got home, DH settled down to watch a movie with the kids and I went down to run off some frustrations to hit the treadmill. I actually got a really good run in and felt much better.

 Now it's time for the kids to go to bed, ah peace at last, so I am planning to curl up in bed and watch tv for the night, sounds like perfect Family Day time to me!