Something I'll Never Be

I'm not skinny...hey there's a newsflash. Would I like to be thinner, yes, I won't deny that, that is why I go to weight watchers. I do however feel sorry for people who are so fixated on not gaining an ounce that they feel they have to justify if they post a picture of food. Case in point, a person I know casually, posted a picture of a burger, not a particularly big burger, it was at best, average size, there was no side of fries. She felt the need to justify that she had shared the burger with her husband. My first thought is what a sad life to only allow yourself to eat half a burger, a veggie burger at that. My second thought was that her poor husband must be malnourished unless she lets him order something extra. Fact is both of them run and workout religiously, they could afford to indulge in a whole burger when they go out to eat. Same person will post a picture of a cookie and proudly say, "I only had one bite, hubs ate the rest."  Now don't get me wrong, if you have a small appetite and can't finish a huge restaurant plateful good for you, I have those meals (occasionally) too. I bag them up and take them home to enjoy for lunch the next day though, I don't make my poor husband suffer through eating the other half and going home hungry.

Here's the thing, I will never be skinny, the best I can aim for is to fit into last years jeans when winter roles around. I'm okay with that. I don't want to be skinny and depriving myself of one of life's true joys. There are a few things in life that make some days tolerable. The smiles and hugs of your kids, sex, food, alcohol and good friends are amongst those that spring to mind immediately. 

Moving on from what we do or do not eat to people's warped version of what a good body size is, for which modern media is totally to blame. I saw this same person tweet a while back stating, "It’s not skinny jeans if you wear size 10 or higher …." Are you kidding me? Size 10 is not fat, where do you get off making someone feel bad about themselves because they are not a single digit size? It is thanks to people like you saying bitchy things like that that our daughters are suffering from eating disorders and thinking they need to starve themselves.  

I'm pretty sure that this person never reads my blog, and if they do they will know who they are and will probably unfollow and never tweet with me again. I have considered this before posting this and I came to the ultimate conclusion that I could live with that consequence, That tweet shows what is an obvious need to belittle others to make themself feel good.  I too like things in life that make me feel good and I'm done with people who irritate and annoy me.

Things the past year has taught me

The past year was one that was an eye opener in so many different ways. I learned so much about myself, about my family, about my friends. I was lying in bed last night thinking it through and decided to share some of my thoughts with you. One of the many joys of medically induced menopause is lots of time to think while you're unable to sleep.

Here are just a few gems that crossed my mind.

• I am a clutz and shouldn't be allowed near ice unless I have skates on. That's three trips to hospital now thanks to slips on the ice, yes one involved a lot of beer, but in general what this has taught me is I'm living in the wrong climate. Not once did I fall over on the beach sand and require hospitalization. I'm not saying I didn't fall over on the beach, there were days drinking champagne on the beach after diving...but no injuries occurred.

• If you have a sick kid, put them on the bottom bunk of the bed. Projectile vomiting travels so much further from the top bunk. I learned this one the other night, I won't say much more about it because it wasn't pleasant, just picture scenes from the exorcist amid soft cuddly toys and cream carpets.

• If you do buy your own birthday presents, don't short change yourself. I did. I got some much needed bras and underwear just for the kids to give me something, planning to go buy myself something nice. It never happened and it bugged me all year.  This year I may have to treat myself to something spectacular, perhaps some new socks too.

• I shouldn't store my naked selfies in the Cloud, okay I technically didn't learn this about myself or my friends thankfully, but it was something I'm sure we all learned this past year thanks to social media. Always useful to know, but to be honest I don't store anything in the cloud and if I had naked selfies they may break the Internet in a bad way...a really really bad way. Especially after the Christmas gluttony, no one ever needs to see that, not even me. 

• Cutting your dogs hair is hard, so much harder than a flailing kid who you can threaten into submission.  But if you cut it when the weather is cooler a bad haircut can be hidden by a doggy sweater, on the dog, not the kid, the kid will need a hat! 

• It is possible for a 9 year old boy to eat more in a day than a 48 year old man. I seriously worry about how much grocery shopping I'm going to need to do as he becomes a teenager. Between Diggle and the Monster Dog we have no need for a garbage disposal.

• I was enlightened to the fact that, raccoons can growl. Monster Dog still thinks she would've won that fight, I'm just saying, don't pick a fight with something bigger than you, biggest freakin raccoon ever! 

It was actually a year where I learned I could do scary things like go back to work after 10 years off. I realized sometimes the best friends are ones who leave you feeling happy after you've spent time with them. It was also a year where I learned no matter how much I plan and think I'm in control I will never know what is around the corner or which way life will take us. There is nothing you can do but hold on to the ones you love and try your best to enjoy what you can and get through the rest alive and relatively sane. (The last point is open for debate)