Christmas time.....joy to the world and all that shit

I fear I may be turning into Howard Langston.  He's the guy Arnold Schwarzenegger played in that Christmas movie - Jingle all the way....you know the guy who was trying to get his kid the hottest toy and they were all sold out.

Diggle wanted the slushi maker, apparently its available everywhere else in the country, but anywhere near me is sold out.  I read the reviews and people are not overly impressed with it...its a toy, it requires a lot of assembly and manual working etc, so I convinced Diggle that Santa was battling with the demand on this one and since he knows how clever Diggle is he wondered if he would mind having a snow cone maker....its electric, the same price as the toys and you can sort of make slushi drinks with it too  it says.

So Diggle is happy with this idea, I go to get the snow cone maker from the home store...and I guess all the other Moms had the same idea.  They only have the two demo models left, I am welcome to buy them, but no box, no instructions and no accessories.  Well no thank you, I was not overly enthused with that idea.   I came home and searched the stores and even have toyed with the idea of buying Diggle a Margarita maker, its essentially the same thing and the bonus is we can set up a margarita stand on the sidewalk in summer for the Moms! I guarantee it will make more money than a lemonade stand!  But the problem with this is they are expensive....much much more than the damn snow cone machine, oh and is it an inappropriate gift for a 7 year old?  I can just imagine the conversation with the teacher in January, Santa gave you what??

I got him something that is not exactly what either of us had in mind but it was all there was left and it was on sale...on the way  out the store another Mom grabbed me and said "where did you get that??" with that look of desperation in her eyes....I had to tell her there was only one left and she started running through the store.

I hate shopping, the people are all crazy in the shops at the moment, and I despise crowds.  I think I am nearly done, and thankfully the hi-light of my Christmas shopping will be a conversation between a cashier and a blind man I overheard today while I was standing in line at the checkout.
~~~~
Cashier: Will you be needing a gift receipt with this electric meat slicer sir?

Blind Man:  No thank you it's for myself.

Cashier:  (the look on her face had me in giggles) oh!....... (a long pause).......um

Blind Man: oh its ok, I cut all my own meat and pour my own drinks

~~~~

Blind man  + what is essentially a circular saw for food....yeah I can see this ending well.

Now next week its baking week....

Worlds best egg nog

I have friends who email me every year asking for my egg nog recipe.  I'll admit to it being one of the best ever recipes, but it would be nice if these friends would email me other times of the year too ;)

Anyway this year I have decided to share, and preempt the requests by posting it on here.  At the very least I'll see who of these friends actually read my blog.

Now I would first like to give a warning, do not under any circumstance drink this if you have a Doctors appointment for bloodwork in the next month.  This is not cholesterol friendly at all.

6 large eggs (separated)
250ml White rum (I like something with a slight coconut flavour)
250ml fresh cream
187ml sugar
1Lt Milk
125ml Brandy

Beat the egg yolks and sugar, beat in run and milk.   Fold in stiffly beaten egg whites then add cream and brandy gently and stir.  Top with shredded chocolate or nutmeg (depending on your taste buds).  You can make it stronger, although it already has quite a kick to it, so I would suggest adding more to your own glass at the end.

We leave a glass out for Santa every Christmas eve and he seems to appreciate the kick, I think it helps him finish off this half of the world.  Remember he's been on the go for a long time by the time he gets to Canada!
I think he may even give some to the reindeer.

This egg nog is so good that when I used to make it my old dog would cry and beg to lick any drops she could.  (I know, don't give human stuff to a dog right? before my vegan animal friendly friends feel the need to tell me)  It can't have hurt her too bad though cause she lived to 16.  And no before anyone suggests it, Monster Dog is not allowed anything that may make her do something crazier than she already does!

Life lessons for my kids

• There is always a bigger slice.... or a plate with more on it.  Just take the plate I give you and eat, if it takes 5 minutes to decide which plate is bigger you wont notice the extra mouthful.

• You are still alive - stop complaining

• If you are playing out in the street with all your friends and are too cold/hot, come inside....do not ask if all 10 friends can come in too....its not going to happen!  Go and ask one of  their Moms  if you can all go inside their house....I bet I know the answer!

• I am only buying one jar of Nutella, if you raid the cupboard and eat it all do not expect to find another jar in there for a long time.

• Just because something has a picture of fruit on it does not make it healthy....but yes I will sometimes buy it for you to shut you  up.  If you have asked for it, begged for it, pleaded for it and then decide once I have bought it that you really don't like it, you will eat it anyway.

• Behind the cushions on the couch is not a garbage bin!  Stop putting your wrappers down there.  - Yes Diggle that means you, you are the only one who sits there apart from Dad, and I am pretty sure his mother did not let him stuff food wrappers down the couch either!

• You cannot have desert every night, yes, around Halloween you can, but only because I want to get rid of the damn candy as quickly as possible so your dad and I don't eat it all and gain 20lbs

• The other nights desert is saved for those dinners you are not really that fond of...it's called bribery, get used to it, it's the way the world works!

• I know when you are stalling at bed time. Like when you have spent all day playing and ignoring me then suddenly after bed time has passed you wish to spend time with me and cuddle? Also asking to have the tv switched on, on your favorite show while said cuddling is taking place does not improve your chances.

• Blaming the monster dog for things will not always work. For example if one of your mittens are missing and you blame her, there is a pretty good chance I will believe you. Blaming her for the fact that tv magically turned itself on while you were eating dinner, or for the leftovers that mysteriously disappeared from the fridge from a sealed Tupperware....not so much.

• You are both very competitive, I have no idea where this comes from, none whatsoever, nope, most certainly not me! However there are two of you, you are both good at different things, there are winners and there are L... Non winners, get over it, sometimes you will beat your sibling sometimes they will beat you but all the time I will beat you both. Oh and the only reason I don't let you win at games is to teach you that  you cant win all the time, it has nothing to do with me having to win.

Itches

It's THAT time of year, the kids are back in school and yep, the "head lice letter" came home from school a week ago.

 Now,  the past few years it's been the letter and one or two students who you hear about who have it and within a few days it's all gone. Not this year, a week later and more and more students are dropping like lice eggs. 4 kids in the twins class were sent home today, one of whom had a birthday party at her house on Saturday that, oh joy, the twins were at.

I checked princesses hair yesterday, I checked it today, so far nothing, but she says her head itches! Well welcome to the club, my head itches, my face itches, DH's head itches and he has no hair on it! Can anyone say psychosomatic? Hell even the monster dog seems to be itching! Oh that's not a good thought, can dogs catch lice? Guess what I am off to Google....be right back.....

Aaaaand I'm back, phew no apparently lice are species specific, so I won't need to be delousing the dog if the worst happens.
For now though I am going to hope for the best and try not to scratch, and sorry if I made you itch, go on, scratch your head, you know you want to.

Underwear

Why do we wear it?

 Not that I am advocating for us all to suddenly lose it all, although it would make make life interesting. I was asked this question by Diggle.

 You see he hates wearing underwear! He loves to go commando. I leave his clothes out for him in the morning so that when he wakes up he can get dressed for school and meet me downstairs for breakfast.  I know I leave underwear there, and yet somehow they never make it onto him.  I find them discarded, hidden behind the chair in his room. I asked him why, his reply? He says he does not like wearing them, and he does not understand why we should have to wear them. He is wearing pants and the pants go in the wash basket when he takes them off. It's a perfectly logical argument, I agree. However society dictates we wear them. 

Who am I though to stifle my sons creative genius. Ok I admit that may be reaching a little there, but seriously I have never been one to play by the rules, so what do I do? Agree with his logical reasoning, (it's not like anyone knows he is not wearing underwear under his jeans), or lay down the law and do an underwear check before leaving for school in the morning?
Yes, I am going the underwear check route.... Cause while it may be cute that a 7 year old is commando, when he is 16 or 18 it won't be so cute and I don't even want to go there!

Maybe there is time still to train him.

I'm Back!!

Wow, I suck at blogging!  Or at least I sucked at it over summer.  This summer seemed a lot busier than the past years.  We did lots of camping trips, the kids were older and more open to reason, (or perhaps took my threats more seriously?) and overall the summer seemed to fly past quickly.

We did a total of 6 camping trips, got to see moose, bears, raccoon (who knew the plural of that is raccoon?  spell check just taught me something - should I be embarrassed?) and even did a fair bit of canoeing and fishing.  I never fed any of my family or the monster dog to the bears and we all made it home  in one piece...pretty successful I think!

I now have (and for the past month have had) 8 people living in my house.  4 adults and 4 children....its crowded and noisy but for the most part has run pretty smoothly.  The twins are loving the extra friends, that are their cousins in the house and although their room looks like a dormitory they are all coping with it quite well.  There are also distinct advantages to having two Moms in the house, if one is not around the other will feed and tend to the kids and even yell and threaten the kids, and who knew, sometimes kids listen to the Aunty Moms threats a little closer than their own Mom.

Anyway the reason I am back now is.......they are back at school, I can think again!  I can even go grocery shopping in peace and today I took a nice long walk with the monster dog and my iPod and did not wonder if the house would still be standing when I got home!

I think fall is my favorite season!  The days are cooler, the nights crisp, the leaves change to pretty colours and the kids are back in school....yes fall is definitely my favorite!

How to look unprofessional in 5 minutes

Well I should have known better, but I had been trying to chat with a work colleague for over a week now, and we had some important stuff to hash out, so when she messages me and said can we chat now, I ignored the fact that my niece and nephew were here with my kids and said sure. The first half of the call was fine, then the phone rang (I was on Skype) and it was my SIL, so I asked my colleague to hold on a sec as I needed to know when the kids were getting picked up. While that is happening Diggle gets his fingers slammed in the door. Add much screaming to the calls, my SIL yelled I'll be there ASAP and hung up.

I managed to calm Diggle down a bit and sent all the kids down to find ice for his fingers and tried to resume the call. Now add in the kids yelling up to me that they can't find ice.....sigh...the colleague does not have kids she probably thinks I'm a bad parent for yelling back, tough then you're going to have to wait! We got back to the call....then the phone rang, it's DH, so I hit ignore and sent it to the answering machine. So he leaves a message and straight away calls my cell. At which point I gave up and told my colleague that we were done and I would call back with anything further.

Now as much as I insist to her that this was NOT a normal occurrence at my house and that I can usually be professional when there are only two kids around, she does not have kids, hands up how many people think she really believes that?