Summer's over

Well at least the school holiday part of summer is over starting next week.  I will admit in June I was dreading these holidays. I am not one of these "wonder moms" who likes to take my kids places and explore. I like to do those things as a family and DH uses all his vacation days for camping. So aside from the camping we tend to do the small things, a few play dates, hit the splash pad a few times, lots of trips to the library, maybe a movie or two and lots of DVD's and home rest days in between.

I am pleasantly surprised to report back that this summer was not bad as I feared.  In fact it has gone past really quickly and I can't believe it's over already. We had some great camping trips, we had Granny's company while at home to help out and we have had relatively few days of kids complaining that they are bored.  Even so, I am ready, I am more than ready for next week.  It's like a switch has been flipped for the kids this week, they are restless, they are starting to annoy each other and starting to annoy me, we are all ready! In fact their backpacks are already packed and waiting for them in the bench by the front door, all that's left to go in them is their lunch on Tuesday morning, yes I am that eager! I am lucky as my two are both looking forward to school, unlike me they enjoy it (so far) they love being able to see their friends, they love learning and so far they have loved every teacher they have had - lets hope that all continues.

We have one camping trip left to do for a short weekend family trip with all the cousins and granny then we can pack all the summer stuff away and parts of my house can be reclaimed.
 Bring on the new school year, bring on fall!  I love the thicker clothes in darker colours, the return of the jackets and boots, being able to throw on a scarf and layer things.  Its my favorite time of year, the crisp cool nights, the changing colours of the leaves, the quiet days of kids in school and the time to get my sanity back and resume some sort of routine.

Women friends

So it's a proven fact that women who are close friends who spend a lot of time together tend to sync up their monthly cycles (we'll call it that for the sake of the few men who I know read my blog).

Now while this is great on one hand; you have a close friend who is also going through hell at the same time as you. A friend who probably has a spare tampon in her bag for you if you are out and need it, and who you can complain and bitch about the world and how unfair it is to.

There is one large problem with this...and something that constantly amazes me that our friendships survive.

There are times when we are raving homicidal bitches at the same time. How do we not kill each other?

Everything annoys me, including my friends (Husband and kids go without saying). So how do we survive. Maybe it's the same way our families survive, we know we have to get through it...the age old saying of love is blind but friendship closes it's eyes, may come into play. I know there have been many a time where I've closed my eyes and counted to ten...and then maybe poured myself a large glass of wine and decided to leave it a week before broaching the subject of my annoyance. A week later said annoyance doesn't seem so bad...life goes on and thankfully so does our friendship...well for another month anyway.

PS. To all my friends, - I really do love you :)

Camping in bear country

Ah camping, the joy of being able to get away from it all, leave technology behind and enjoy the peace and quiet of nature.  As I type this I'm sitting here listening to the sounds of a chain saw cutting a tree off a tent, but more on that later.

Our trip started off with DH saying he was not taking alcohol on this trip.  I convinced him to at least pack the beers...thank goodness for that, as the first beers were cracked while we were still setting up.

This was a new campground, we were not sure on the sites, but had booked one across from the main beach.  When we got here the site was smaller than we expected, very close to the sites on either side and not much privacy. DH was not overly impressed.  I tried to point out the good things. We were close to the washrooms, which were nice flushing toilets with sinks and soap, not the long drops I was expecting from Algonquin Park. We were close to the beach, our site was nice and level, oh and we had no Internet or cell service...ok now I was not happy, how am I supposed to live without cell service for a week?

It was a great start, a young couple and their large dog moved onto the site next to us and to our immense joy their dog made our monster dog look like an angel. It barked at everything, even throughout the night, it's name was Hudson, we know that as its owners kept saying "oh, Hudson," all day long. Sitting around the camp  fire on the first night DH muttered "shoulda brought alcohol."

Lets move ahead to our first night. Diggle wakes me in the middle of the night, he needs to pee. So I step outside the trailer into our attached tent with him and freeze.  My heart drops, what was that noise I heard? OMG there's a bear outside. I grabbed Diggle and push him behind me, he keeps saying what's wrong mommy? And I'm trying to shush him. I bravely stick my head out the tent with the flashlight in my hand, ready to run back into the trailer at a moments notice, I look around...and realize its the guy on the campsite on the other side of us snoring, no bear, just a middle aged man, snoring...some may rather face down the bear.  

Hudson's parents left after two nights thankfully, and I found I could get my Internet fix when we drove to the camp store for ice creams for the kids...all was good, and yes the kids may have been allowed more ice cream than usual.

We settled into a routine of swimming, canoeing, and doing absolutely nothing. We went to a parks theatre production, it was called Time Machine. They took you back through the ages in the park, it was geared for the kids, and made me question the early loggers sexuality but enough on that.

Mid week we decided to take a trip into town, we needed a few more supplies. We got 3G cell signal on the way there yay! I checked the weather, severe thunderstorm warnings for our area, this should be fun.

As we got back to our trailer our new friendly neighbour came over to tell us that the park rangers had just been around to warn of an impending storm cell that was looking particularly nasty, people were evacuating to ride it out at the Visitors Centre 10km away. DH and I decided we liked our stuff too much, we had a trailer, not just a flimsy tent, we would stay and keep an eye on things. The storm itself was only about 30 minutes, it was intense and at one point had DH and I both ducking when we heard what we thought was a crack of lightening striking a little too close for comfort. We were securing the shelter tarp, DH sent me inside to check on the kids. The kids and monster dog were in the trailer taking shelter, monster dog thankfully can care less about storms, the kids were sobbing, Matthew was praying for just one more day of life (not sure what that means for tomorrow), and Alyssa was trying to be brave but had tears in her eyes and was scared. Thankfully the storm was over a lot quicker than it began, and when we went outside the sun was shining, there were puddles everywhere and the site across the road from us had a huge tree lying across it squashing their dining tent. That crack of lightening we ducked for was actually the tree snapping. Thankfully the family had been sheltering in their other tent at the time. Hence the sound of chainsaws as I started typing this.

It's later in the afternoon now the sound of chainsaws has been replaced by music, they are celebrating being alive, there's a possibility tomorrow they may wish they weren't.

My kids are perfect (not)

This blog post is dedicated to all those of you who have brats for kids. You see, I feel sorry for you, because my kids are perfect! They never whine, they never make a fuss or talk back, they never fight, they excel at everything they do, and they are most certainly never ever annoying!

Ha! If only! Let's face it, there is not a kid in this world who is perfect. There are however, plenty of Moms out there who seem to like to give this impression on Facebook. You know the ones, they always post about how wonderful their kids are, what a joy living with them is, what little angels they are. Things like, little Johnny was such a cutie this morning while eating his high fiber cereal, he made a joke and kissed his sister when she spilled her juice, I couldn't love him more. When in reality, you know he probably was the one who poured his sisters juice over her head. What I don't think these people realize is that the only ones who may be remotely fooled by this are the friends who have never met Johnny. You see those of us who have met him know that he is the devil spawn.

Now I'm not saying every kid out there is a holy terror, (they just seem that way most of the time), but let's face it, kids are hard to like, even our own some of the time. The good thing is our own are easy to love, and this is what preserves the species.

It just irks me when people always post these statuses about how great their kids are. It's not fair on those poor unsuspecting young folk who have not had kids yet. They believe you and then when they have their own and realize they are not perfect, they blame themselves for not being good parents as everyone else has such perfect kids.

The same really goes for anyone who posts a status like, today is my 25th wedding anniversary, I love my husband Billy (I guess he's Johnny's dad). The past 25 years have been the best and easiest and I can't wait to spend the next 25 having such fun.

I call bullshit! The reality is marriage and raising kids is hard, it takes work, and a lot of patience. Do we love our kids and husbands? Well yes, do we like them? Not all the time no. So stop making out like your kids and husbands are perfect. We've met them we know the truth. And to be honest I'm happy with my non perfect kids and DH, I know they are still so much better than yours ;p

Of course I will give you this...all wives are naturally perfect and always right.

When realities hit home

I know a lot of you are expecting most of my blog posts to be filled with complaints about living with my Mom, and while I will admit I have done my fair share of grumbling and adjusting, this is not going to be one of them.
Well okay, I may throw in a few grumbles for good measure, but in general this is a post to do with thankfulness.

Yesterday, I was watching my kids interact with their Granny and was hit by the reality of how lucky I am that they can have this time to get to know her. The last time they got to see her, they were 4 years old.  Now at 8 they have so much more to offer, and her to offer them.  There is so much love to be shared, so much patience from either side that they are all willing to give, just to spend time together.

We as immigrants give up so much when we move to the other side of the planet.  So far away from our childhood friends, our siblings, our parents.  Our kids don't know the sort of environment we grew up in, they don't know their grandparents, their aunts and uncles and often their cousins. We don't understand the sports that our kids are now exposed to, they are not what we grew up with and if they are lucky we will try to learn them so that we can bond over this as they grow up with it.

This year has been a trying year for my family which I guess makes realization so vivid.  My Dad passed away in February and my Mother-in-law passed on earlier this month.  That's two grandparents that my kids wont get to know, and that hurts us all.  So, as I look at the way that my children love their Granny so very much, the love in their eyes when they wrap their arms around her, the cuddles they are getting, the time that she spends talking and taking an interest in them, and the time they spend telling her the things I brush off a million times, I can only be thankful that they all have this time. I smile when they run to hug and kiss her goodbye before they leave for school in the morning and yet yell a simple "bye Mom, have a good day" as they grab their backpacks and rush for the door. I don't mind, I don't begrudge it, I am the first one they run to hug and wrap their arms around at pickup time anyway.

As much as I may complain about the little things, and they are little things, these are memories they will cherish, that I will cherish, even if I do think that being watched while I make soup out of a can is claustrophobic. (But that's a whole different blog post.)
 

When its time to grow up - or maybe not

I may be in my 40's, but I am sure, like many of you, I don't feel like I have ever grown up.  This is currently exacerbated by the fact that my Mom is coming to stay with us.  Somehow with her in the house I always feel like I am a teenager again.  Like I have to justify what I am doing and sneak around a little.
Don't get me wrong, my Mom is great, she is easy to live with and doesn't pass judgement (much), but I know it's still going to be an adjustment for me and for her having her living here.

At the moment, I have three days until she arrives, I am cleaning my house.  She told me not to be silly when I said I had to clean before she arrives, but trust me she has not seen my house!  She used to tell me my bedroom looked like a pig sty and in reality, what kid has not heard that line?  However now I'm an adult (I think) and add in two eight year olds, and my entire house looks like a pig sty.  Clean as I may, I cannot seem to get the kids to pick up after themselves, not leave their garbage where ever it falls and stop leaving socks lying in arbitrary places throughout the house.

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A few days later....

Yes I got sidetracked, we had a lot of things happen that derailed my blog post, so now my Mom has been here for nearly 3 days and we are adjusting.  The kids are loving having her here. They have been on their best behavior and she in turn adores them.

I have only felt like a kid a few times, most notably when I told one of the kids to do something and she added afterwards a very pointed...."please??"  I countered with telling her it was a command, not a request.
In her favor, she has praised my child handling skills,...saying she loves the way I talk to the kids, and the tone I use with them.  From my side I think, great I'm glad she's praising not criticizing, but she hasn't been around long enough to see me lose my cool with them yet, so that will come.

The thing is there comes a point in your life when you are not sure if you are the adult or the child in the relationship. I still feel like the child, but find myself taking the adult role, guidance, checking up on things, doing all the organizing and also doing things like double checking her room and picking up pill packets that she's dropped on the floor so that the monster dog does not eat her blood pressure tablets   I guess it's a complicated stage of life for all.


  I was choosing a picture for the blog this week relating to being grown up, and there were just too many, so I found I could not just go with one...I thought perhaps even an explanation with some may be a good idea.

DH will attest to this one, the dishwasher has to be stacked my way.  It makes the most sense, you can fit everything in it, best use of space and most economical - there, doesn't that sound grown up? If someone else stacks it there are always dishes left over in the sink and who has to wash them...yes that would be me, the grown up in the house.

Yes, I'm guilty as charged of telling my kids lies like this to get them to stop asking questions and just accept what I have told them as the truth.

Well this describes me perfectly.  I don't think I'll ever feel totally grown up and then I look what I do all day and think, wow, they really should have a grown up doing this.  I am sure they would do a much better job....

Well yes, I wont go into details with all the cringe worthy things I do, but some days (okay, most days) I seriously question my grown up judgement.  I suspect that perhaps my inner teenage girl is lurking a little too close to the surface. But then, is that a bad thing?  I can hope that maybe when I am in my 60's I will still be thinking that my inner teenager is there and still doing stupid things that make me feel young again ;)

My friends

This post is dedicated to my friends...I guess everyone has different groups of friends, friends you party with, friends you hang and relax with, even online friends. I am no different I have seem to split my friends into many diverse groups. I have always been a bit of a loner, I like my own company, I am happiest at home by myself. Its a chore to go out and be social and I happen to be very shy.  That being said, I wouldn't want to do without any of these groups, they are all special to me and all do their little bit to keep me sane and make life worth living, including making me get out and interact with the world. Most of these groups consist of women...but I do have men friends too.  These are my groups:

Street Ladies - Or I like to think of us as girls.  This is a group of three of us who live on the same street.  Our kids are all a similar age and fight play together regularly.  We met through our kids and quickly became fast friends and BFF's.  We celebrate together and  get all our families together for parties and events.  Now, I know the age old three women conundrum. The one that states that three women can't remain friends for longer than a few months, due to one always feeling left out and jealousy issues etc, however we have proved this wrong by lasting years. We are secure in our friendship, we know all the dirty details about each other and we are each others crutches when things go wrong.  Without these ladies in my life I would be lost, however I'd also be sober a lot more!

Online friends - This group can be divided into two groups. Facebook Friends - people from past and present. Old school friends, old family friends, people you have met on your life's journey and who have made a difference in your life no matter how large or small, and finally people you hardly know but who you are nosy about.
Twitter friends - I find this one to be made up of people who share similar interests and senses of humour.  People you have never met, but have formed a bond with, even though you are unlikely to ever meet most of them in real life.  They are fun to chat with, good to vent to, and can even help you through some rough situations just by being an impartial observer and shoulder to cry on.  Some of these you will end up meeting, some will become long term friends, some will drift off after a while.  A select few can even become rather special to your every day life.

WW ladies - This is a group of ladies I became friends with accidentally.  I started Weight Watchers before my 40th Birthday to lose some weight.  Slowly a group of us who were attending meetings every week became friends and started chatting.  Now we meet once a week for breakfast, coffee and a chat. We help motivate each other to stick with the weight loss and discuss any topic there is.

SA ladies - My home girls.  I met this group after moving to Canada, a group of ladies from South Africa, a group who just gets me, get where I'm from, knows how I grew up, doesn't think I talk funny or laugh when I call a family room a lounge, or pronounce words with my accent. We share a history, we share a common background and a common struggle to adapt and settle in a new country with a culture we were not familiar with.  We do dinner, we text, we chat, we email, we meet up sometimes for lunch.  When I broke my leg and was laid up unable to move, these are the girls who fed my family and came around and helped me hop around the house - although I did notice none of them offered to clean for me ;)

Family - They say you can't choose your family and its true, however I really can't complain.  For the little family that we have over here in Canada, we do very well.  I have sister-in-laws and brothers who are both family and friends.  I have cousins, their spouses/partners and even their grown up kids who have adopted us  into their family.  The thing with family is that although they can drive you crazy, you love them, you do whatever is needed for them and they do the same for you.  You let them live with you if necessary and sometimes it can surprise you how well you can get along ;)  You know you have a group of people who you can call on, even if you know that it may cause them to grumble, they will do what you ask, and move on, you are family, you will drop everything and help.

Men - Yes Men, lets face it Men deserve their own category.  They are a species unto their own.  I obviously have men friends in my online friends that consist of guys I went to school with, guys I used to dive with, guys I used to drink with and through Twitter even guys I have never met, but share similar interests.  The thing here is, I used to have lots of actual men friends. Growing up in a house of three older brothers I was always one of the guys.  I would drink with the guys, I would hang around with them.  My brothers friends never complained about taking me places, (it became less of a chore to take the friends sister out once she got boobs!) and even when I started dating DH, I was friends with his friends, if he was not around I would still hang out and drink with his friends.  Since I have moved to Canada, I don't have a lot of men friends.  Its weird for the 1st time in my life I am lacking the male friendship interaction.  I have friends husbands, I have my brothers and cousins, I have my online friends and mostly and importantly I have my best friend who I have had as a constant since I was 16, yes that's right, mark it in your calendar, I'm going to be nice...I have DH.