You will always think you are a failure....and yes there are things you suck at. I suck at reading with my kids, I know I should sit and do it every night, especially with Princess as she is not a good reader, but it is so frustrating! The thing is, although you are a failure it's important to look at the areas you do well in. I give them a loving home, they eat well, veggies and fruit are in their diet every day and they don't eat a diet of crap, fast food and take out. That's got to make up for the reading right? So I guess they will be healthy illiterates ;)
Taking your kids to extra mural activities is a pain...but there are benefits. We do MMA three times a week. It's a mad rush in the evenings to get dinner down, get dressed and out the house, it means leaving a plate of dinner to be rewarmed for DH when he gets home. The benefits, healthier kids who know how to protect themselves and are learning some good discipline skills. And yes ok, I'll admit it's not such a chore as I thought it would be, there is another benefit, there are young well built men rolling around the floor training the kids....need I say more?
You can't change who you are just because you're a parent. I tried not swearing and being a good role model, it sucked. So yes, I swear and I'll admit I have been known to have the odd drink while they are around, and I most certainly have fun with my friends all with my kids around. The outcome, my kids don't swear, but they do know every swear word (well almost every, there are maybe two that I can think of that don't get said in front of them). The plus side on this, when they hear someone swear outside the home, or on tv, it's not a big deal to them, they are not shocked and horrified. They know adults (and some younger kids who are trying to show off) talk like this and they don't care. They also know that if they say any of the words they will reap the consequences. In the long run we will have to see, but I often wonder if the age old stories of the pastors kids always rebelling and the rebels kids turning out to be good, have something to say, and if nothing else by the time they are adults my kids will be able to cuss like a sailor.
I think the biggest thing is if the kids are happy, healthy and well adjusted, and know whats important in life you are doing an ok job, no matter how you are raising them. Also remember there are parents who suck at this far more than any of us!
Thanks Jenni. I must admit, I have glaring weaknesses with my parenting. I'm a terrible disciplinarian. I know you're not supposed to shout at your kids a lot and when you punish them, you're supposed to stick to that punishment. I shout a lot but then when they're miserable with their grounding or whatever punishment has been meted out, I back down, feeling so sorry for them. I think I drive my husband crazy sometimes. Good thing, he's a lot firmer than me! I'm also not great with stopping them from being techno-addicts. I feel that that is their time out - who am I to tell them how to spend their free time? But I know other parents don't allow their kids to go over a certain amount of hours on TV or computer. Not I. And I feed them bread, and chocolate and cookies. But they do get vegetables every night with their supper.
ReplyDeleteAs you say, at least they know that they are loved. Well, I sincerely hope so!