Taking joy in the small things

It hasn't been a particularly good week in our household, and my emotions have gone from highs to extreme lows at varying times throughout the week. Today I'm feeling the need to take stock and look back on the things that I'm thankful for and that have brought me some form of joy this week.

I bathed the monster dog, now while this may seem trivial to you, it brought me joy. She sits on top of me and loves me too much, she was smelling worse than the inside of my sons snow boots and that was not pleasant. I now have a fresh clean, soft cuddle partner.

I have awesome friends, they support me when I'm in need and even treat me to lunch and coffee after a Doctors appointment that they know was no fun.

DH is on a health kick, he's no longer bringing crap home and is even working out. This benefits me in multiple ways. I get a fit, healthy husband who has more stamina and looks sexy and I too lose weight because I'm not being tempted by donuts and chocolates calling my name.

Last night we observed earth hour with the kids, we turned off the lights and all electronics (a rare occurrence in this house). We lit some candles, pulled out the camping lantern and spent the hour playing pictionary with the kids. It was a fun evening and the kids can't wait to play again. My team naturally won in case anyone wondered.

Spring seems to be trying to make an appearance at long last. The snow is receding, there are a few more sunny days on the calendar and I'm seeing a light at the end of the long, bitterly cold winter.

With the spring thaw comes the dreaded dog poop cleanup of the backyard. Now I can see you sitting there reading this asking yourself what would she possibly be thankful about regarding this? It's a simple answer really, DH did it this weekend, and I'm eternally thankful I never had to do it myself.

Online shenanigans, firstly get your minds out the gutter, not that sort of shenanigans. There was a "disturbance in the force" online with a group of friends,acquaintances and general group of people I see. Some were ecstatic, some were pissed, some were sad and some were just downright rude and obnoxious. The point of this is, it took my mind off my own worries, it gave a lot to read, to laugh at, to shake my head at and to discuss, and yes I'm thankful for that and thankful I was one of the people who wasn't upset.

Today's joy came in the form of a simple walk in the sunshine, yes the wind was cold and the paths were muddy from melted snow, but it felt really good to have the family outdoors and get some exercise too. The added bonus was some pretty scenes and fun had by all.

Fractured ice on the river we were walking next to.

Great kilometer trail markers

Inukshuk by the trail

Happy kids who had fun

43

It's my birthday on Monday...43, I turn 43! I'm left pondering the question how did I get here, how am I 43 and living a suburban domestic life?

Is it time for me to have my midlife crisis yet? Maybe I'm already having it. Should I go out and buy a sports car or find myself a young stud? Well sports cars are a waste of money unless you're rich, I'd rather have a trip to Hawaii, and a young stud? Well that just seems like a lot of work, like having to housebreak a puppy, wouldn't you prefer one that's already housebroken? I wouldn't say no to some liposuction, maybe a tummy tuck, I'll keep those in mind for when my crisis really hits home.

The thing is I don't feel 43. I don't feel like I'm a kid and still 16 or 18, however, I feel no different from when I was in my late 20's and 30's, just with more responsibilities and kids. And less time to make something of my life. Now if I just knew what I wanted to make of it, perhaps I could start.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I haven't done anything great with my life, I've had wonderful experiences, traveled and done things a lot of people would only dream of. I've got two beautiful kids who ultimately have to be the center of everything and my ultimate devotion and reason behind any decisions I make. I just feel like I haven't accomplished what I was put on this earth to do. The question is how do you accomplish becoming a rich beach bum when you live in the frozen wasteland of Canada?

In all seriousness I feel like I have more potential, more to give. Maybe everybody feels like this? I surely can't be that unique? Is life passing me by while I'm playing at being a mother and wife with the picket fence and shoveling snow? I sure hope not, I hope to one day realize my potential, find my passion and maybe then find my hammock on the beach to retire and be a beach bum.

Boobaliscious

I went shopping for bra's today as some of mine have started to fall apart, buckle under the weight of everyday hard labor one may say.*  Yes the sad fact is I have big boobs.  Now in some instances it's not a sad fact, more of a welcome advantage, but when bra shopping it is indeed a sad state of affairs.

Every girls wants something sexy, something pretty for their lingerie, however big busted girls have to pay a small fortune if they want this, whereas girls with regular boobs can go to their local Target or Sears and pick up some nice fun bras.  The bras these stores sell for well endowed girls like me are more like restraint devices.  They come in your basic colors white, black and nude, they have thick ugly, unsexy straps. I guess they serve their purpose to hold our giant knockers that obviously must weigh a good 20lbs each (judging by the thickness of the fabric) up. They remind me of something my grandmother would've worn in the war era.

Yes there are some nice bras in pretty fun fabrics available in my size, but guess what, they all have padding.  Here's a newsflash to bra makers everywhere.  When you have D cups, you don't need or want padding!!  You don't want to take someones eye out every time you turn around!

I do have a wonderful bra that has removable straps, so it can be worn strapless or halter or cross back etc. The only issue with it? It's padded, every time I wear it someone comments on the size of my boobs and yes I know they look humongous in that bra, but what can a girl do, I can hardly go bra less when wearing a tank top. So I try not to wear it too often, but every now and then its a necessity so out it comes and I mentally prepare myself for the comments while trying to refrain from replying sarcastically, "Really? My boobs are huge? I never noticed, thanks for pointing that out."

*To be honest some of my bras are failing due to the monster dog chewing through the straps when she was a puppy (I sewed them back together because dammit these things are expensive), and others because often I'm not that careful with my laundry and they get caught up in the drier and the underwire pokes through or snaps.

Moving and life changes

Moving house has been on my mind a lot lately, in my last blog I mentioned my reasons for making the change and deciding to move to Canada. Don't get me wrong, at this point I have no intention of moving house again any time soon. Unless I win the lotto that is, because then I'm buying a bigger house with a "granny apartment" for my mom.

People will tell you that moving house can be as stressful as a divorce, never having been divorced I can't really compare, but although I was stressed to the max with our move I can't imagine this to be true. I love moving, I love the excitement of packing things, unpacking in a new (preferably better) place. After our first move I probably wouldn't have said that, the first move from from South Africa to Canada was very high on the stress scale, but we weren't just moving suburbs, we moved countries. We had paperwork, shipping containers, customs and sad family to say goodbye to. On the other hand we had welcoming family on this side of the ocean in the form of my aunt and uncle who let us stay in their basement until our furniture arrived and pointed us in the right direction to get the red tape and paperwork to get settled in completely, we also had my cousins who welcomed us into their extended families like we had all grown up together, not a continent apart. For this I will always be thankful.

If I am not planning to move anytime soon (lotto withstanding -I live in hope), why am I thinking about it? Well my mom is in the final stages of packing up to come over to Canada and join us.  My moms stresses become my stresses, so it's almost like moving. I'm looking for apartments for her to rent, trying to make sure the perfect one for her doesn't slip through our fingers in the next few months, while also not wanting her to feel unwelcome and like she can't live with us for a while. It probably isn't the best thing to say on the way home from the airport, "welcome to Canada mom, we'll just drop you at your new residence and see you in a few days." I may not be her favorite daughter after that, and yes I am her only daughter so at any given time I'm aware I'm both her favorite and least favorite daughter.

So mom is moving, she is not bringing furniture so it's a couple of suitcases and maybe a box or two to ship

over. I am planning to fly over and spend a week helping her pack and fly back with her. Yay, I get to pack, (insert sarcasm font here!)  not really the sort I want to be doing, but thankfully I can be ruthless. My parents moved from a large house to a one bedroom retirement cottage a few years ago and a lot of their "clutter" was disposed of then. But believe me there is still a lot to go through! Hence the need to be fairly ruthless when we leave.  It seems each time we move is the prefect opportunity to get rid of a lot of stuff that had accumulated and is never used. I know mom will find this stressful, but it will have to be done.

 I have put no pressure on my moms decision to move to Canada as I know how stressful a move like this can be and if she was happy and content there I would encourage her to stay. The fact is, she has three children and their families here, along with her brother and his kids, she misses us, and she loves the time she spends over here with us. I know she will miss my one brother and his family who she will be leaving behind there immensely and she will be very sad to say goodbye, but will be buoyed by the fact that they have said they will make a trip out to visit us and see the snow very soon. 

What I don't think she has taken into account is how sad she will feel to say goodbye to her friends and the few remaining cousins she has there. These will be her final goodbyes to them and I think the reality of this will only hit her once it is happening.  I am glad for this reason that I will be there to provide a bit of support and remind her of the excited grand kids waiting for her on the other side of the ocean. The move into a new apartment and excitement of getting her set up can wait.