Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Moving and life changes

Moving house has been on my mind a lot lately, in my last blog I mentioned my reasons for making the change and deciding to move to Canada. Don't get me wrong, at this point I have no intention of moving house again any time soon. Unless I win the lotto that is, because then I'm buying a bigger house with a "granny apartment" for my mom.

People will tell you that moving house can be as stressful as a divorce, never having been divorced I can't really compare, but although I was stressed to the max with our move I can't imagine this to be true. I love moving, I love the excitement of packing things, unpacking in a new (preferably better) place. After our first move I probably wouldn't have said that, the first move from from South Africa to Canada was very high on the stress scale, but we weren't just moving suburbs, we moved countries. We had paperwork, shipping containers, customs and sad family to say goodbye to. On the other hand we had welcoming family on this side of the ocean in the form of my aunt and uncle who let us stay in their basement until our furniture arrived and pointed us in the right direction to get the red tape and paperwork to get settled in completely, we also had my cousins who welcomed us into their extended families like we had all grown up together, not a continent apart. For this I will always be thankful.

If I am not planning to move anytime soon (lotto withstanding -I live in hope), why am I thinking about it? Well my mom is in the final stages of packing up to come over to Canada and join us.  My moms stresses become my stresses, so it's almost like moving. I'm looking for apartments for her to rent, trying to make sure the perfect one for her doesn't slip through our fingers in the next few months, while also not wanting her to feel unwelcome and like she can't live with us for a while. It probably isn't the best thing to say on the way home from the airport, "welcome to Canada mom, we'll just drop you at your new residence and see you in a few days." I may not be her favorite daughter after that, and yes I am her only daughter so at any given time I'm aware I'm both her favorite and least favorite daughter.

So mom is moving, she is not bringing furniture so it's a couple of suitcases and maybe a box or two to ship
over. I am planning to fly over and spend a week helping her pack and fly back with her. Yay, I get to pack, (insert sarcasm font here!)  not really the sort I want to be doing, but thankfully I can be ruthless. My parents moved from a large house to a one bedroom retirement cottage a few years ago and a lot of their "clutter" was disposed of then. But believe me there is still a lot to go through! Hence the need to be fairly ruthless when we leave.  It seems each time we move is the prefect opportunity to get rid of a lot of stuff that had accumulated and is never used. I know mom will find this stressful, but it will have to be done.

 I have put no pressure on my moms decision to move to Canada as I know how stressful a move like this can be and if she was happy and content there I would encourage her to stay. The fact is, she has three children and their families here, along with her brother and his kids, she misses us, and she loves the time she spends over here with us. I know she will miss my one brother and his family who she will be leaving behind there immensely and she will be very sad to say goodbye, but will be buoyed by the fact that they have said they will make a trip out to visit us and see the snow very soon. 

What I don't think she has taken into account is how sad she will feel to say goodbye to her friends and the few remaining cousins she has there. These will be her final goodbyes to them and I think the reality of this will only hit her once it is happening.  I am glad for this reason that I will be there to provide a bit of support and remind her of the excited grand kids waiting for her on the other side of the ocean. The move into a new apartment and excitement of getting her set up can wait.

1 comment:

  1. All the best with your mom's move, Jenni. You certainly are a blessing to her.