43

It's my birthday on Monday...43, I turn 43! I'm left pondering the question how did I get here, how am I 43 and living a suburban domestic life?

Is it time for me to have my midlife crisis yet? Maybe I'm already having it. Should I go out and buy a sports car or find myself a young stud? Well sports cars are a waste of money unless you're rich, I'd rather have a trip to Hawaii, and a young stud? Well that just seems like a lot of work, like having to housebreak a puppy, wouldn't you prefer one that's already housebroken? I wouldn't say no to some liposuction, maybe a tummy tuck, I'll keep those in mind for when my crisis really hits home.

The thing is I don't feel 43. I don't feel like I'm a kid and still 16 or 18, however, I feel no different from when I was in my late 20's and 30's, just with more responsibilities and kids. And less time to make something of my life. Now if I just knew what I wanted to make of it, perhaps I could start.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I haven't done anything great with my life, I've had wonderful experiences, traveled and done things a lot of people would only dream of. I've got two beautiful kids who ultimately have to be the center of everything and my ultimate devotion and reason behind any decisions I make. I just feel like I haven't accomplished what I was put on this earth to do. The question is how do you accomplish becoming a rich beach bum when you live in the frozen wasteland of Canada?

In all seriousness I feel like I have more potential, more to give. Maybe everybody feels like this? I surely can't be that unique? Is life passing me by while I'm playing at being a mother and wife with the picket fence and shoveling snow? I sure hope not, I hope to one day realize my potential, find my passion and maybe then find my hammock on the beach to retire and be a beach bum.